Emotional Outbursts in Toddlers

Significance

• Emotional outbursts typically begin around 12 months and with any luck they've run their course by age 3. In extreme fits of rage a toddler may bite, kick, hit and hold his breath to express his frustration or displeasure. A toddler may have an emotional eruption when he oversteps his limits in his struggle for independence. For example, if he follows a stray dog into the street while at the playground, he may resort to kicking and screaming when you scoop him up to keep him safe from the strange canine and passing cars. Throwing a tantrum is the only way a toddler knows to cope when life doesn't go the way he thinks it should.

Trust

• It's not uncommon for a toddler to be on her best behavior when you're out of the picture. She may be more reserved with caregivers, grandma or other relatives, people whose reactions she is unsure of when she tests their limits in her quest for autonomy; she is uncertain of the potentially emotional outcome. Your toddler feels comfortable boldly pushing difficult or possibly dangerous boundaries with you because she's certain you̵7;ll protect her if she gets into a jam. For instance, if she becomes frightened while climbing on a jungle gym she knows you'll help her down to safety even though she's having a fit over the fact that she couldn't make it to the top.

Timeouts

• Angry outbursts that are limited to screaming or crying are best handled by ignoring them, recommends HealthyChildren.org. Once your toddler has settled down try to help him understand what he may have been feeling. For example, you might say, "It seems like you got mad when Mommy said it was nap time." Teaching your toddler to identify his emotional triggers helps him learn about himself and others. Intense emotional outbursts that include kicking, hitting, biting or throwing things that could hurt someone should not be ignored. A brief timeout in a quiet spot can help your enraged toddler cool off. A toddler can realistically handle only one or two minutes in timeout. Rather than punishing a toddler, a timeout shows the consequences for severe outbursts and helps your child learn that spending some time alone is much better than throwing a fit. Give your toddler a hug afterward.

Keep Your Cool and Hold Your Ground

• Staying calm and collected is the best course of action when your little one is in the midst of an emotional outburst, explains KidsHealth.org, a website published by the Nemours Foundation. Showing your frustration only compounds and complicates the problem. A toddler can sense your aggravation, which may only accelerate his anger and frustration. You may need your own timeout to defuse your anger and eliminate the risk of hurting your unruly toddler. Taking a few slow, deep breaths can help you keep your cool. Don't allow guilt about saying "no" sway you into giving into your toddler's tantrum. It sends a clear message that emotional outbursts help him get what he wants.

Outlook

• Rage is normally balanced with delight as 2-year-olds have a wide range of emotions, points out HealthyChildren.org. Although emotional outbursts generally come with the territory of being a toddler, each child's temperament is unique. Some toddlers may have frequent fits, whereas others sporadically throw tantrums. By age 3 the "terrible two's" are (at least in theory) a thing of the past.