How to Stop Toddlers From Whining

Like nails on a chalkboard, whining is among the most irritating of sounds. But since your toddler relies on you for pretty much everything, he has to get your attention somehow to have those needs met. If your toddler feels it's taking too long for you to respond, he might resort to whining. While it's normal toddler behavior, it's undesirable and should be dealt with appropriately to reduce how often you have to listen to it and to prevent it from becoming a habit.

  1. Provide Your Full Attention

    • Toddlers usually resort to whining when they feel as if their needs aren't being heeded. Giving your toddler your full attention can help prevent whining or stop it. While you have other things to do, such as cooking dinner, doing laundry or performing other necessary chores, there is value in putting things aside for a few minutes and really listening to your child. Get down on your child's level and make eye contact. Respond to her need as soon as possible, because this sends the message that she is being heard. Praise your toddler when she asks without whining to reinforce the desired behavior and increase the odds that she won't whine next time.

    Teach Coping Mechanisms

    • Many toddlers whine because they don't know how else to express what they're needing or feeling. In addition to making sure your child is well fed and rested, you can use certain words and phrases to eliminate the whining. For example, when your child is whining, ask him where his strong voice is and encourage him to repeat his request in that tone of voice, suggested Dr. Laura Markham, a clinical psychologist trained at Columbia University. Empowering him to choose appropriate ways to express his desires will help curb the whining, Markham reported.

    Be Consistent

    • Tell your toddler up front that you won't respond or listen to her whining voice. Then be consistent about that rule. When you hear a whine starting, remind your child that you're not going to listen to whining and that you're happy to listen when she's ready to use her nice voice, according to AskDr.Sears.com, a website started by renowned pediatrician Dr. William Sears. Consistency is key, Sears noted, because if you allow the whining to escalate, the chances are higher that you'll give in to your child because you're tired of hearing the whining and want to put an end to it. This sends the message that if your toddler whines long enough, she'll eventually get what she wants.

    Distract, Distract, Distract

    • When your child starts to whine, distract him. Ignore the whining and invite him to do something, such as reading a story with you or playing with a toy he hasn't seen in a while. If you don't respond to the whining, you're sending the message that it's not going to bother you, Sears noted. Distraction can curb the whining by giving your child something else to think about or do. Or ask your child to go to another room if he wants to whine. Chances are, he'll want to be where you are so he'll find something to do that doesn't include whining.

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