How to Get a Toddler to Stop Pinching
So after mastering the use of his thumbs and forefingers, your toddler has discovered the art of pinching. Whatever the cause of this new behavior -- whether it be exploratory, aggressive or imitative -- it's important to address it immediately and help your child recognize that pinching someone else is unacceptable.
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Root of the Problem
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In order to get your toddler to stop pinching, you have to figure out why he's pinching in the first place. Observe your child closely and try to identify what triggers the pinching. According to pediatrician Dr. William Sears, it's a good idea to use a journal to keep track of when your child pinches. Common triggers for pinching include hunger, exhaustion and anxiety. Toddlers also pinch when fighting over objects or territory, or as a means of getting attention from adults.
Stop It Before It Starts
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According to pediatrician Dr. Robert Needlman, one way to manage pinching is to anticipate it and prevent it. Using the information you gathered from observing your child, think of different ways you can minimize the situations that lead to pinching. For example, if you notice that your child pinches other kids when fighting over toys during play dates, provide multiple versions of the objects the kids fight over the most, and encourage them to engage in play together and share. Sears also suggests surrounding your child with non-aggressive playmates as much as possible.
Model Positive Alternative Behaviors
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Being gentle but firm when responding to pinching is key to stopping this undesired behavior. No matter how frustrated you are, never discipline your toddler for pinching by pinching him. According to clinical psychologist, Dr. Laura Markham, when you use physical force to discipline your child, it sends the message that the behavior is alright, because adults do it. Instead, reinforce acceptable touches whenever your child pinches. According to Sears, if your child pinches or starts to pinch, take his hand and pat it on your arm. Verbally reinforce non-aggressive behaviors by telling your child, ̶0;We don't pinch, we pat someone's arms.̶1;
Reward Desired Behaviors
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According to Markham, children ultimately want to please the adults around them. In that case, praising and rewarding your child for not pinching can be a powerful tool in getting her to stop. When you see your child waiting to play with a toy or sharing instead of pinching for control of it, give her a big smile and a hug, and thank her for playing nicely. If another child gets aggressive with your child and she doesn't pinch in retaliation, praise her for not reacting. Tailor positive encouragement to your child's temperament. Some kids may like hugs and kisses, while others are motivated by high-fives or celebratory dances.
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The toddler years often bring a mixed bag of behaviors. Your child is active and accomplished, he can do many things on his own and he loves to learn and investigate everything. As toddlers learn new words, their communication skills rapidly improve.
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