A Father's Impact on Teen Boys

As a Social Guide

• Teen boys, though seemingly more distant from their fathers than in childhood, still look to their fathers to figure out how to act in the adult world. A father implicitly teaches his teen son how to respond to social stimuli as he deals with his own affairs. For example, when the father-and-son team go out together, whether it̵7;s to pick up something at the father̵7;s office or to see the ballgame, they inevitably encounter people. When the father responds to these people, he̵7;s demonstrating to his son the appropriate way of dealing with situations. The phrase ̶0;like father, like son̶1; likely stems from this behavioral copying, which is why it is so important for a father to think before he acts, especially in front of his teen son. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, negative, insensitive fathers are likely to raise teens with more antisocial tendencies and less social success. For example, a father who responds to being accidentally short-changed by yelling at a clerk only shows his child that anger is an appropriate response to others̵7; mistakes, a lesson that will prove obstructive in processes such as climbing the corporate ladder or working with others.

As a Moral Guide

• The father̵7;s job as a role model doesn̵7;t stop when the father-son team returns home. Instead, it switches from serving as a social role model to a moral one. In the home, the father can help the teen son talk through problems and brainstorm moral solutions. This process heavily involves moral thought. The hardest decisions are most often those that press a teen to choose the morally right path over the easy or impulsive path. In fact, the Father Involvement Research Alliance has found that teen boys who grow up without fathers have significantly weaker morals. They are less likely to feel guilty after misbehaving, more likely to blame others when things go wrong and care less about conformity as well as rules.

As an Anti-Drug

• Teens who grow up with involved fathers have a lower tendency to engage in drug use. This holds true for cigarette and alcohol use. Part of the reason for this is that teenage boys who are close to their fathers have better moral guidance. But another reason is that a father has an influence over whom a teen hangs out with. The Father Involvement Research Alliance has found that a strong father-son relationship is related to good friendships in the teen son. The social and moral guidance of the father shows the teen how to choose friends carefully, leading the teen boy to choose less dangerous and impulsive peers as friends.

As a Dating Coach

• As a teen, your son is likely to be heavily interested in the opposite sex. He will most likely go on dates, even if you advise him not to. But the true influence over his dating life doesn̵7;t come from your words; it comes from your actions. A father shows his teen how to treat women by example. A teenage boy watches how his father treats his mother. The way the father and mother relate to each other shapes the expected relationship dynamic between men and women in the teen boy̵7;s mind. Thus, a father who is abusive will likely raise a son who mistreats his female peers. Contrarily, a loving father can raise a son who forms long-lasting, stable relationships.