Effective Discipline Techniques for the Strong-Willed Toddler
It̵7;s not unusual for parents to describe their toddler as strong-willed. The toddler stage of development is characterized by contradictions. For example, toddlers want to perform a task independently, but often lack the skills necessary to perform the task. Your toddler experiences a wide range of strong emotions, but exhibits poor self-regulation skills when emotions appear out of control. These contradictions can produce frustration for your toddler, whose determination to do things her way surpasses her self-control. Effective discipline techniques recognize the source of your toddler̵7;s frustration and offer positive replacement behaviors.
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Demonstrate Calm in the Storm
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The implementation of discipline strategies for your strong-willed toddler begins with you, but can influence your child before you utter a word. Parents set the tone for self-control when they model a calm repose, according the child development site Zero to Three. Your words communicate important content to your toddler, but as her role model, your behavior provides the context in which your message will ultimately be translated. For example, model the tone of voice and body language that you want your toddler to emulate.
Talk About Your Toddler's Feelings
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When your strong-willed toddler demonstrates defiant behavior, validating her emotions increases the likelihood that she will calm down. A calm toddler is more likely to respond positively to parental intervention. Communicate to your toddler that you listen to her problems and value her feelings. For example, ̶0;I know that you are disappointed that we can̵7;t stay longer at the park, but we need to pick up your brother from school.̶1; Developing an awareness of emotions helps your toddler to build self-control of her emotions.
Offer Attractive Alternatives to Problematic Behavior
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Strong-willed toddlers resist relinquishing an inappropriate behavior without the lure of an appealing replacement behavior. For example, issuing a directive to stop placing blocks in the sink may be received happily if you suggest that your toddler help you by cleaning the sink with a sponge. Remember to validate your toddler̵7;s feelings by saying, ̶0;I know you like to place your blocks in the sink, but I want to prepare your lunch, and need your help. Would you wipe the sink with a sponge while I make lunch?̶1; Praise your child̵7;s cooperation with the request and her efforts related to cleaning the sink.
Provide Opportunities to Understand Strong Emotions
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Toddlers struggle to manage strong emotions, especially when they encounter unexpected problems, disappointments or bumps in the road. Talk about the emotions that characters experience in the books you share with your toddler. For example, ̶0;Look at how angry the raccoon̵7;s friend, Mr. Toad, feels because he wasn̵7;t invited to the party. It̵7;s OK for him to feel angry. What can Mr. Toad do to feel better?̶1; Reiterate that strong feelings are natural, but that saying or doing harmful things in response to those feelings is unacceptable.
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Infants generally begin to laugh out loud around 4 to 6 months of age. However, its important to note that this is just a general guideline. Some babies might laugh earlier, and others might take a little longer. Here are some factors that can influ
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The toddler stage gives your child opportunities to assert her independence. Sometimes, however, your toddler falls short of her objectives, and the frustration that ensues might seem overwhelming for both of you. By examining some of the development
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Airing Your Dirty Laundry: Handling Public Tantrums Parents of two- and three-year-olds find themselves most uncomfortable and embarrassed when their children have tantrums in public: in the grocery store, in the park, or—and this is the worst—in the
