How to Know What Makes a Good Parent
We all want to know what makes a good parent. Parenting is the most difficult and fulfilling job we will ever accomplish.
What makes a good parent? I will give you my opinion. Keep in mind that this is subjectively written based on my own personal experiences, my job training as an applied behavior therapist and a Bachelors degree in Psychology and Education.
I invite input from parents and non parents. The fact that you want to know what makes a good parent and are looking to learn from the advice of others is a great start!
These are a few of many ways of what I think makes a great parent.
Instructions
HAVE A HEALTHY MARRIAGE IF APPLICABLE- One of the best things you can do for your children is to have a happy and healthy marriage. As we all know this is not always possible. Do your best to provide a model for your children as to how to be in a healthy relationship. If you do not have one, bring good examples of friends and family members into their life who can be a good model and mentor them as they grow older. If you need to strengthen your marriage, I highly recommend checking out the book in the resource section by John Gottman. BECOME A SATISFIED AND SELF FULFILLED PARENT - It is incredibly common for women, especially, to ignore their own emotional and physical health to be there for your children. I feel it is extremely important for your children to see you stimulated, learning, fulfilled and happy. Also, if you are feeling fulfilled and happy you will find it is much easier to deal appropriately with your children. If you are unhappy you will be much more likely to use criticisms and anger. USE HONESTY - Be honest with your children. If they are not the best artist in the world, you don't have to tell them the art is amazing. Tell them how you feel, if they tried really hard, tell them that you like the artwork, but you love the effort behind it so much more. If there was no effort you can always say, "I like it, but I LOVE you, and it reminds me of you, so it's going on the refrigerator." If you don't know the answer to a question they ask you, don't make it up, use it as an opportunity to look up the answer together. Maybe take them to the library or even to the Google search engine. If you are angry at them and are feeling like you can't control your anger. Tell them you are angry and so that you need to take a break. They can wait in their room or on a chair while you calm down and decide what to do. **Being honest with your child creates learning opportunities. Make sure to not reveal things which they are too young to handle. If you feel it is not age appropriate, stick to the emotions of the situation. Daddy hurt mommy's feelings. He didn't do it on purpose, but now I feel sad. ASK FORGIVENESS FOR MISTAKES - We all make mistakes, good parents will admit their mistakes and ask for forgiveness. Asking for forgiveness can happen before, during, or after the mistake. Admitting to mistakes will show your children that its ok not to be perfect and how to act responsibly when they mess up (because inevitably we all will.) ASK FOR HELP WHEN YOU NEED IT - When you are noticing a problem with your child that you don't know how to handle, do not ignore it. Ask experienced parents for help. This can be your own parents, or others that you respect. If your child is dealing with depression, self image problems or behavioral problems do research on those specific issues. Although you should not blindly trust all professionals, there are many ways to deal with an issue that may be helpful in your situation. STUDY UP ON PARENTING - From the moment you learn of conception to college graduation, studying up on parenting is a great idea. Subscribing to Magazines and reading current books will keep you alert of different parenting ideas and strategies. INVEST IN YOUR CHILDREN - Invest your time in your children. They will always remember the time you spent with and for them and when you USE DISCIPLINE & POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT - In my opinion, good parents will reinforce positive behaviors and discipline negative behaviors. While I do not in any way encourage physical disciplinary techniques, I think it important to have boundaries in a home. EXPOSE YOUR CHILDREN TO A VARIETY OF ACTIVITIES - Create an environment where your children will be able to find out what he/she excels at and what he/she does not like as much. NOURISH YOUR CHILD'S STRENGTHS - Once your child finds something that he/she enjoys and is good at, support him/her to become an expert in that area. This will help him/her immensely as he/she develops and needs to choose vocations. NEVER BE AFRAID TO SAY I LOVE YOU - GIVE YOUR CHILD RESPONSIBILITY - As a child develops he/she should be given age appropriate levels of responsibility. By the time he/she reaches adulthood and is expected to live on his/her own, he/she should have the skills to manage money, time, work and healthy food schedules. NEVER BE AFRAID TO SAY I LOVE YOU!
