How to Foster Children's Independence
As a parent, concerns about your child̵7;s health and safety likely dominate your thoughts. Not only are you responsible for taking care of an incredible little being entrusted to your care, you are also charged with teaching her how to rely on you less and less each day. It̵7;s only natural to want to do things for her, but sometimes doing too much for her compromises her ability to become independent -- which is, of course, her major job in life.
Instructions
Encourage your child to do the things for himself, even if that means he doesn't do things perfectly. While little Johnny may not line the stuffed animals up quite as neatly as you do, learning to put them away himself is vital to becoming independent. Resist the urge to straighten them for him, and praise him for his efforts instead. Request your child̵7;s help around the house. Preschool children can help fold clothes, feed the cat or help set the table. Toddlers can dust the coffee table or throw wrappers in the trash. Assign older children chores, such as taking out the trash or vacuuming to build their confidence in their abilities and foster a sense of independence. Encourage new hobbies and social activities, even if they do not interest you. While you may find rock collecting boring, your little one may discover a budding interest in geology. Discovering he is free to pursue his own interests teaches him that he is independent from you. Provide support and feedback on difficult school projects and assignments while letting your child know you have confidence in her ability to complete them. While some help may be warranted, resist the urge to take over, as this compromises her sense of independence. Give advice freely when asked, but stop short of telling your child what to do when difficult decisions arise. Giving him information, discussing possible consequences and offering differing viewpoints is fine, but let your child make his own decisions, unless his decisions pose a danger to the health and safety of himself or others. Praise your child frequently for her accomplishments. Whether it is learning to play the flute or simply keeping her room clean, your acknowledgement is important to her growing sense of independence.