The Importance of Giving Children Boundaries

Though most children lament the existence of rules, deep down inside, they actually crave these boundaries. Children who are given clear expectations about how they are to behave and conduct themselves are better able to thrive, according to the AskDr.Sears website. Yes, setting these boundaries will take some work in the beginning. But the payoff will be a secure, happy and well-behaved child.

  1. Prevents Spoilage

    • Children who don't have boundaries tend to think they should get whatever they want the second they decide that they want it. For example, children without boundaries might expect an ice cream cone for breakfast, while children who have boundaries understand that ice cream is a treat and doesn't constitute a meal. Knowing these types of boundaries ahead of time helps you avoid the inevitable meltdown that comes when your child doesn't get what she wants. Children with boundaries are often more polite, too, because they have been given clear expectations about how they are expected to behave, according to Lorelei McCollough, writing for Kids Crossing, a nonprofit child placement agency in Colorado. In contrast, children without boundaries are more likely to throw temper tantrums and dissolve into a fit of rage when things don't go their way.

    Boosts Safety

    • In terms of keeping your child safe, boundaries are a must. If you don't tell your child how far he can ride his bike, for example, he might ride so far that he gets lost and can't find his way back home. Letting your child roam the neighborhood isn't safe either, and setting boundaries about how far he can stray is absolutely essential. Boundaries inside are crucial, too. Your child needs to understand that certain things, such as the garage, the oven and the curling iron, are off-limits because they pose a safety hazard. Prohibiting your child from playing with anything she wants to isn't mean; rather, it is setting boundaries designed to protect her from harm. These boundaries also provide your child with a safe place to play and learn, according to the AskDr.Sears website.

    Provides Security

    • When children know what to expect, they are often more secure because nothing is unexpected. Boundaries provide routine so your child learns what happens at different parts of the day. These boundaries also give your child self-control because she's able to move from activity to activity on her own simply because that's what her routine dictates that she do. Over time, this can boost self-esteem and help your child feel confident in her own abilities. McCollough notes that children who do not have boundaries tend to have a lower self-esteem and also tend to lash out when things don't go their way simply because they lack a routine that helps define their days.

    More Compelling Reasons

    • Setting boundaries shouldn't be a suggestion, according to McCollough, but a necessity. Boundaries help children respect authority, as well as challenge authority properly. For example, a child who has grown up with boundaries will feel more confident about negotiating those boundaries with a parent as she grows. Boundaries also send the message that your little girl isn't the only child in the world. Yes, she is the most important one to you, but not to the rest of the planet. Once she realizes this, she'll be able to adapt to social situations more confidently. R. Saphier of the Idaho Department of Health and Wellness, writing for the Education.com website, emphasizes that boundaries can help your child resolve her behavior problems. Once you've outlined your boundaries, establish consequences when your child steps out of bounds. Not only will it improve poor behavior, but it will teach your child exactly what the boundaries are so she's able to stay within them next time around.

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