How to Overcome Materialism and Selfishness in Children

Parenting Style Modifications

• Materialism and selfishness are learned attitudes and behaviors, so it̵7;s possible to teach different attitudes by adjusting the way you parent your kids, says psychologist and parenting expert Michele Borba. Check your current parenting style to determine whether you are contributing to your child̵7;s attitudes. If you resist setting limits or if you revert to giving in to your child when you̵7;re stressed or tired, strive to enact clear behavioral limits and house rules that you will enforce. If you avoid telling your kids ̶0;no̶1; because you fear that it will hurt their self-esteem, Borba advises parents that the opposite is usually true. Parents who provide structure and limits and who can refuse a child's request or a demand generally produce kids with higher self-esteem, so modify your parenting to this style.

Make New Priorities

• It can be difficult to avoid materialism if kids continually have exposure to media that shows them toys, clothing, gadgets and other "must-have" items, warns Borba. Kids who see enticing commercials and other advertisements may be more likely to wish for and ask for items, which could create attitudes of entitlement and dissatisfaction with current possessions. Instead of a materialistic focus, teach your kids different priorities. Take outings with your kids other than shopping and look for activities that don̵7;t cost anything, such as hiking in the park or playing board games on a rainy afternoon. Shift rewards away from material items, instead praising and giving high-fives for accomplishments.

Emphasize Empathy

• When kids have an inward materialistic or selfish attitude, help them shift to a more altruistic mindset with concern for other people̵7;s well-being and feelings. Show your child how to empathize with others by demonstrating this response regularly for him to emulate, advises psychologist Laura Markham, with the Aha! Parenting website. Empathize with your child as you interact with him by noticing feelings, naming them and communicating your understanding ̵1; ̶0;You seem frustrated right now. Let̵7;s see if I can help.̶1; As you teach empathy by your example and raise awareness of feelings, you equip your youngster to empathize with others. This heightened awareness of other people̵7;s feelings and his impact on others can help your child learn to put others first with a selfless rather than selfish attitude.

Teach Money Management Skills

• Your child̵7;s materialistic attitude might also focus on spending money instead of managing it responsibly, according to Parents.com. If you notice carefree or reckless spending instead of budgeting and saving, guide your youngster to manage her money more prudently. Help your child open a savings account and encourage her to make regular deposits from allowance, earnings and cash gifts. Talk about saving for specific purchases and help your youngster create a budgeting plan that fits with her financial goals. As you guide your child, encourage a more selfless approach to money management that includes helping others, giving to others and making charitable contributions, if possible. Gifts don̵7;t have to be sizable to teach a child the value of giving to others.