How to Help a Daughter Feel Better After Her Mother Has Died

When you lose your wife or significant other, it can be extremely difficult to cope. The grieving process is often more difficult for children who have lost the guidance and support of their mother. Daughters may experience feelings of confusion, depression, guilt and vulnerability after this type of loss. Sometimes fathers find it difficult to communicate on an emotional level with their daughters to provide them with the comfort they need. As a parent you may feel obligated to give your daughter advice, but the most important action you can take is simply letting her know that you are there.

Instructions

    • 1

      Make time to talk to your daughter as quickly as possible and as often as needed. Give her the basic facts in simple terms without going into excessive detail. Let her ask questions as they develop naturally.

    • 2

      Provide supportive attention and remember that everyone grieves differently. The process can be unpredictable with highs, lows and setbacks. Don't take her emotional responses personally and avoid telling her how she should feel or how long she should grieve. Never push her to get over her grief.

    • 3

      Stay honest and open with your own feelings. If you don't know how to answer her questions, tell her that you don't. Explain that you might be able to find someone to help find the answers.

    • 4

      Ask her how she is feeling and don't assume that you already know.

    • 5

      Avoid pressing her to talk to you if she isn't ready. Sit beside her and hold her hand or give her a hug instead. Sometimes these actions are more reassuring.

    • 6

      Talk about your memories with her mother and allow her to do the same.

    • 7

      Discuss the viewing and funeral procedures. Ask her if she wants to attend the funeral. Describe the purpose of the religious rites of the funeral if you intend to hold any.

    • 8

      Read a book on death together that is geared toward her age group. Talk about the book after you finish reading it. Discuss the relation between your lives and different elements of the book.

    • 9

      Let her know that it is okay to cry, break down and get angry. Avoid trying to reason with her and let her express all emotions freely.

    • 10

      Take long walks together and set aside time for fun activities and games, family meals and day trips.

    • 11

      Avoid telling her that she is strong or that she is handling the situation well. Even if you feel that this is the case, she may be repressing her feelings to uphold the appearance of strength to relieve your stress.

    • 12

      Maintain her normal daily routines and keep them as consistent as possible. Structure provides comfort.

    • 13

      Share your personal beliefs on life and death with her and pray together if prayer is one of your religious practices.

    • 14

      Encourage her to express herself by telling stories, playing and creating artwork. Pay attention to these activities, the insight you gain will help you evaluate her progression through the process of coping.

    • 15

      Remind her that you are there to keep her safe and take care of her.

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