Disciplining a Toddler as a Working Mother

If you're a working mother, you may feel torn between fulfilling your financial and maternal responsibilities. On one hand, you need to work in order to provide for your child, but on the other hand, turning your back on her outstretched arms and piercing cries is impossible. Of course the last thing you want to do after a long day apart is discipline your toddler, but as her mother, it's your primary job to set -- and enforce-- guidelines that keep your toddler healthy, happy and safe.

  1. Understanding

    • If you̵7;re gone most of the day, your toddler might flat out disobey or throw tantrums because she misses you. Before you resort to discipline, first try to be more understanding about why she̵7;s acting out, and give her more time and attention. For instance, if you come home from work and your toddler pitches a fit while you make dinner, AhaParenting.com suggests ordering out or asking your spouse to prepare the meal so you can sit down give your little one some uninterrupted face time.

    Consistency Counts

    • If your toddler insists on doing something that you keep telling her not to do, keep in mind that you might be unintentionally sending mixed signals. Perhaps you̵7;re disallowing behaviors that her other caretakers do allow. Before you reprimand her, find out whether the rules enforced when you aren̵7;t at home are the same as the rules you enforce when you are home. Before you expect your child to conform to any standard of behavior, you have to first be sure that all her authority figures are on the same page.

    Proactive Discipline

    • Since your child isn̵7;t with you all the time, the time you do spend together should be pleasant. Participate in engaging activities with your toddler when you̵7;re home, to set the stage for positive reinforcement. Ask her to do simple things, like throw her diaper in the trash or retrieve small items you ask for, so you̵7;ll have reasons to clap, smile and congratulate her successes. Play games, watch TV and read with her, and tell her how proud you are at how well she participates. The more positive attention your toddler receives, the more likely she̵7;ll be to do things to elicit more of the same.

    Stand Firm

    • You might be tempted to be lax on your rules when you come home because you feel guilty about your extended absences, but doing wavering on your principles does more harm than good. Toddlers need consistent rules and boundaries in order to feel safe and secure in the world. If you decide on a particular course of action ̵1; making your toddler stay in her crib for two minutes as a consequence for hitting you, for example ̵1; then you have to stick to your guns no matter what. If your child picks up on the fact that sometimes mommy enforces the rules and sometimes she doesn̵7;t, then she̵7;ll always test your limits.

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