Cons of Timeouts for Toddlers

Timeout has become a common form of discipline for parents of toddlers as an alternative to yelling or spanking. Timeout typically involves telling the child to go to his room, sit on the couch or stand in the corner in order to remove him from the situation. After he has been in timeout long enough, usually one minute for each year of age, he can continue to play again. This method of discipline does not work for everyone, and it does have its own disadvantages that make it less than ideal for some families.

  1. Lack of Understanding

    • Toddlers are not as cognitively developed as school-aged children. They do not interpret words the same way, and time-out is isolating. Some children interpret being alone as meaning that they aren't loved. Developmental psychologist and writer of books including Aletha Solter Ph.D., founder of the Aware Parenting Institute and author of several parenting books, explains that isolating your child can make him experience feelings of rejection that can impact his self-esteem currently and in the future. He might feel that he is rejected and unwanted, even if you provide him with encouragement and tell him that you love him since actions are easier to interpret than words for toddlers.

    Authoritarian Parenting

    • Timeouts are commonly associated with the authoritarian parenting philosophy, developed by Diana Baumrind, clinical and developmental psychologist. This parenting philosophy is also considered totalitarian and unresponsive to a child's needs because parents expect utmost obedience and order in the home. This method of parenting leans toward establishing strict rules and boundaries. The theory predicts that children growing up in a household with authoritarian parenting become withdrawn and develop poor reactions to frustration.

    Ineffective Methods

    • In an article for WebMD, pediatrician Jennifer Shu disagrees with the idea that timeouts are appropriate for all children. Timeout can be an ineffective method of discipline if your child doesn't respond well to it. If he gets anxious, cries or screams because he is upset at being isolated, the timeout doesn't work because he can get overwhelmed at the current situation without thinking of what he did wrong in the first place. An alternate option is to do a "time-in" and spend a few minutes with him to direct his attention elsewhere.

    Persistent Problem

    • Timeout gives your child a break from the situation, but it doesn't resolve it. If a child is repeatedly sent to timeout due to breaking a rule, he might stop doing it in your presence, but it does not mean he won't do it when you aren't watching. Timeouts that utilize silence as punishment do not allow toddlers to express their feelings of anger or frustration in an age-appropriate manner, which includes crying. Solter advises that parents listen to their child and allow him to honestly express his feelings without being worried about punishment.

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