How Parents Stay Calm With Toddlers

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times," could be an apt quote for parents of toddlers. You get to enjoy your child's budding personality while watching her wonder at the simplest things in life. However, it also means enduring her roller coaster of emotions and her fierce need for independence at the expense of everyone else. Your job as a parent is to stay calm and composed, even when your tot is kicking and screaming on the grocery store floor. This is no doubt easier said than done, but with a little practice it should get easier over time.

  1. Stop and Breathe

    • Negative behaviors typically start when your toddler wants something or when something isn't going according to her wishes. Many times, the behavior occurs when you are distracted by chores, a phone call or other obligations. Remember that above all, your toddler needs your love and attention. Her behavior is normal because she is still learning patience and how to process her emotions. Take several deep breaths and help your toddler solve the problem at hand calmly and rationally.

    Follow Routines

    • Sometimes the best defense against a toddler's negative behaviors is to plan a good offense. Toddlers thrive on predictable routines, which make them feel safe and secure. The British Columbia Ministry of Health recommends that parents of toddlers employ routines every day to reduce ambiguity for your child. Stick to regular morning, afternoon and evening routines and let your toddler know in advance if a routine will be different. Routines help provide a calm and predictable environment for everyone.

    Set Reasonable Expectations

    • It's easy to fall prey to your to-do list and expect your toddler to follow along as a willing companion. Don't expect a toddler to be able entertain himself for an hour while you do the dishes, scrub the floor and do the laundry. Instead, give him your undivided attention for 15 minutes, sneak in a chore for 10 and get back to your toddler who needs you. Avoid setting yourself up for failure by keeping your to-do list manageable. Remember, your toddler needs your love and affection most of all and your chore list can always be put off for another time.

    React with Love, Not Anger

    • When your toddler's emotions are going haywire and she starts acting out, it's normal for your own anger and frustration to take over. However, when you get angry, your tot's behavior will only get worse. Dr. Laura Markham, clinical psychologist and founding editor of the website Aha! Parenting.com, suggests doing something that will help calm you down. For example, leave the room for a moment, call an understanding friend, or take a break with a cup of tea. Remember that your toddler will learn how to react to situations and how to process emotions from you. Redirect negative behaviors with love, not anger.

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