How to Help Teens When a Grandparent Dies

It's not something people want to think about, but eventually, the older people in our lives are going to die. As parents it's important to take steps to help your children cope when the time comes. When your teen loses a grandparent -- and you lose a parent or inlaw -- remember that your child will be looking to you and the other adults in her life for clues about how to act.

Instructions

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      Allow your teen to grieve in her own way. There is no "right and wrong" way to grieve, advises the family grief center The Dougy Center, and as such she may not go through the regular stages that you might read about in books on grieving. Your teen probably already goes through a wide range of emotions on any given day, and you should expect to see even more of those swings of emotion as she grieves.

    • 2

      Encourage healthy activities such as making art, talking with friends or journaling, recommends The Dougy Center. At the same time, watch out for signs of unhealthy grief, such as substance abuse, withdrawal or reckless sexual activity.

    • 3

      Don't hesitate to show your own grief. Teens crave authenticity, and showing your teen that you're fallible and able to cry may help him work through his own emotions. If you're having a hard time yourself, don't be afraid to ask friends or relatives to step in and help with household chores or to drive your teen to his activities.

    • 4

      Encourage your teen to take part in the memorial service. While she may not be ready to give a eulogy or speak publicly, she may be willing to arrange flowers or greet guests. This ritual can help her get closure. At the same time, don't push the issue if she's not ready.

    • 5

      Work on a family scrapbook together. The weeks or months after the death may be too soon to start this project, but when you and your teen are ready, arranging old pictures and creating an artistic family tree can help your teen stay connected to his grandparent.

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