Teen Privacy Needs

Modesty and Privacy

• When your teen was a young child, you were probably able to stroll right into your child's room. Now, he is a teen and he needs his space. Respect his new-found modesty and always knock before entering your teen's bedroom. This will make your teen feel that you are giving him the space and privacy he needs and that you are treating him as a responsible, mature individual. Dr. Terry Lynn Manning, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Georgia and cited in "Georgia Family Magazine" believes that parents need to realize that teens need their privacy. ̶0;Giving a child privacy as to what goes on in their room or what̵7;s in their drawers is a privilege you give them because they are trustworthy and honest. Your kids should know that if they violate that trust and honesty, one of the things that̵7;s going to change is that you are going to be watching them more carefully.̶1; Trust goes both ways. You want your teen to trust you and you need to be able to trust your teen.

Teen Communications

• You may be tempted to monitor your teen's cell phones, tablets, laptops and other personal communication devices. It may be a good idea to become a "friend" on your teen's social media accounts or at least to monitor their social media, because you don't want anything potentially harmful to come his way. On the other hand, you may wish to step back and trust your teen with the warnings and knowledge you've given them, so that he may make his own decision. It is a double-edged sword. According to a 2012 survey by the Pew and Berkman Research Centers, "While parents may forge connections with their teens on social media in order to passively observe them, many are also actively engaging with their children and making their presence known." You want to ensure that your teen is engaging in social media in a mature and appropriate manner. The Pew and Berkman survey reveals that "69 percent of parents of online teens are concerned about how their child's online activity might affect their future academic or employment opportunities." Parents can provide teens with instructions on how to spot a suspicious email, how to be on the lookout for sexual predators or how to deter the use of inappropriate language.

Trust

• Parents need to have boundaries when it comes to their teen's privacy. You may have a rule that your teen cannot access the Internet late at night or you may wish position the home computer where all can clearly see it. Agree that his room is private and you will not go into his room unless it is necessary. According to Margaret Sagarese and Charlene Giannetti, in their book, "What Are You Doing in There? Balancing Your Need to Know with Your Adolescent's Need to Grow," the authors state "Parents have to get to know their child and build up trust. The question is not 'Can I trust my child?' but "Can they trust you?' If your child is trusting you, that's the best insurance policy against risky behavior."

Safety

• A good rule of thumb may be to allow your teen his privacy unless circumstances threaten his safety or well-being. This will depend on the maturity of your teen and on the supervision he needs. Some teens may need more than others. When circumstances make it necessary to question a teen about his activities or to search his room or laptop, let him know that you are doing so only out of concern for your teen and not because you don't trust him. In addition, remember, teen brain development is not yet complete. His judgment and decision-making powers are not as mature as they will become when he is in his mid-20s. Brenda Nixon, author of "Parenting Power in the Early Years" states, "Just because a child has a mature body doesn't mean they don't still need guidance in making moral and rational decisions."