Bonding With an Adopted Teen Girl

Keep Communication Lines Wide Open

• The teen years can be tough. Because they are in the midst of discovering themselves and trying to establish their independence, it can be difficult for teenagers to open up. According to the North American Council on Adoptable Children, adopted teens might have an even more difficult time expressing their emotions. To make the situation a little easier for her, make sure she knows you're available any time she wants to talk about anything, for example, her childhood years, how things are going in school or her interests and goals. Don't ask questions that raise walls and don't ask questions that can be answered with just a "yes" or "no." Show her she's free to express herself, you value her opinion and you want to hear what she has to say.

Hang on Every Word

• Every time your teen shares a little piece of herself with you, whether it be about a good grade she got on a project, a frustration over a class assignment, an argument with a friend or her new crush, try to give her your full attention or at least make sure she knows you're listening. If you're in the middle of preparing dinner, offer her a seat and chat while you work; if you're folding laundry, toss her a pile and work together while she talks. Don't criticize her for how she feels and don't interrupt her with your own wisdom. Let her share, vent or ramble on, and praise her for letting you in on the big and small things in her life.

Be Involved

• Show your interest and enthusiasm for the things that interest your teen, such as a hobby, a favorite subject in school or the latest award-winning flick. If she is a young fashionista, enroll in a sewing class together or have her share her talent by teaching you a stitch or two. Try to attend as many of your teen's practices as often as possible and be there to cheer her on at every game. By demonstrating that her interests are important to you, you convey the message that she is important to you.

Share Yourself

• It's also important that your adopted teen has an opportunity to get to know you, too. Introduce her to your own interests and if she also likes to do them or wants to try one of them, plan an outing around them. You can go to a yoga class together, visit an art gallery or go for a drive through the countryside. You can start to get to know each other better and if she's uncomfortable opening up at first, just focus on the activity you are doing.