How to Bond With a Teenage Daughter
Despite your best intentions and efforts, creating a meaningful bond with your teenage daughter isn't always easy. She might create distance between you just at the times when you most long to become closer. Yet, according to TeensHealth, you're not alone -- a feeling of distance between teens and their parents is a normal part of adolescent development, but you don't have to feel like you're losing your teenage daughter. By putting in a bit of effort, staying patient, and sticking by her through thick and thin, you can bond with your teenage daughter.
Instructions
Find time to check in and chat with your daughter each day, even if it's just about topics like her day at school or trivial occurrences in the news. Chat while doing the chores or preparing dinner, suggests author Debra Kent in an article for "Good Housekeeping." Inquire about her opinions or ask for input, such as saying "What should we make for dinner tonight?" Look for everyday opportunities to bond with your daughter. Avoid judgment or criticism. An atmosphere of shame or blame is certain to jeopardize your attempts to bond, says Elizabeth Berkley, actress, advice columnist and philanthropist, in an article for Oprah.com. Don't offer your opinion or advice unless she asks. If she wants your advice, she'll ask for it. Put yourself in her shoes. By showing empathy for the tribulations of teen life, you can help her feel understood, which could strengthen your bond. Remember what it was like for you as a teenager. Don't belittle her struggles when she confides in you. Instead, respond with compassion by using reflective listening skills, saying things like "I can understand how that would really upset you. I'm so sorry that happened. Is there anything I can do to help?" Participate in fun, enjoyable activities together. Ask her what activities she might like to share with you. Suggest seeing a movie, taking a drive or going shopping after school. Let her know your relationship doesn't always have to be serious. Show her your lighthearted side. Find common ground. Perhaps you share a secret interest or hobby with your daughter and you don't even know it. Ask her what activities she enjoys. Talk about your own passions. Show interest in her extracurricular activities. For example, if she plays on a school sports team, attend her games. If she plays a musical instrument, go to her concerts. Resolve conflicts soon after they occur. Allowing hurt to fester for too long can turn into a more serious wound and might lead to grudges. Let some time pass so you can both cool down, then open up a constructive dialogue. Apologize if you were wrong, advises HealthyChildren.org. Acknowledging your wrongdoings and apologizing immediately when you hurt your daughter's feelings can restore your bond and help her see that you're only human. Let your daughter know that you love her for who she is, not what she does or how she looks, advises PBS Parents. Teenage girls are particularly vulnerable to low self-esteem due to peer pressure, the media and comparisons with celebrities. By letting her know that you see who she really is underneath appearances and achievements, you simultaneously support your bond and increase her self-esteem.
