Top 10 Ways to Be a Better Mother for Your Teenage Daughter

Empathize

• Think back on how you felt as a teen, what was interesting or annoying, and your general perspective on life. If you can remember how your moods changed swiftly as you grew, it can help you to be more understanding of your daughter̵7;s flip-flopping attitudes.

Battles

• Some issues with your teen daughter, like wearing bright green nail polish, are probably not worth fighting over. Concentrate your discipline efforts on the big things like drugs, alcohol, tobacco, sex and serious rebellion. Otherwise, you will waste precious energy and patience dealing with inconsequential issues.

Listen

• Truly listen to your daughter. When she opens up to you, listen to what she has to say without interjecting advice, suggestions or negative comments. Use open-ended questions like, ̶0;How do you feel about that?̶1; to learn more about how she is feeling and what she is thinking.

Do What She Likes

• When you spend time with your daughter, do what she likes to do some of the time. Naomi Drew, a parenting author referenced on Family.com, notes that when you take an interest in what she likes, you increase the trust between you and your daughter. This helps build the lines of communication that are so critical in the teen years.

Expectations

• Set limits and boundaries for your teen to provide a sense of security. You don̵7;t have to restrict her every move or know everything about her life, but knowing who her friends are and where she is going are good ways to show you care about her well-being.

Involve Your Daughter

• Drew also suggests involving your daughter in the process of setting consequences for misbehavior, but set consequences that you think are appropriate on the most important issues. This indicates that you respect her thoughts and opinions and promotes her sense of self-worth.

Red Flags

• Talking about suicide, friend changes, weight loss or gain, falling grades, sleeping problems or dramatic changes in personality are signs that your daughter may need some professional assistance. The need for privacy does not trump your need to find evidence to support your suspicions, so "snooping" if you fear for your daughter's wellbeing is justified.

Time Together

• Even if your daughter is not interested in talking when you̵7;re ready to, just knowing that you care enough to put down the cell phone and give her your full attention shows your daughter that you care. When she is ready to talk, she will feel more comfortable coming to you. If you don̵7;t live with your daughter or your job demands a lot of your time, just sharing some moments can make all the difference, according to adolescent counselor Suzanne Bonfiglio Baumann.

Take Her Seriously

• Berkley also suggests that mothers take their daughters̵7; worries and dreams seriously. This encourages your daughter to believe in herself and her worth as an individual. When a girl feels that her mother supports her, she is more likely to have high self-esteem and confidence in her abilities.

Act Your Age

• Avoid blurring the boundaries between friend and mother. Your daughter needs to know that you are a capable adult to whom she can turn if she needs help and a good role model. Also, let her know you are a human being with problems and feelings, but avoid giving her too much information about your life that could be difficult to bear.