How to Apologize to a Teen

Parents aren't perfect, as much as they might try their hardest to meet their teen's needs and act in their best interests. Everyone says the wrong thing or takes the wrong course of action from time to time. You're only human, and it's normal to make mistakes. But it can be challenging to admit your flaws or mistakes to your teen. Sometimes, it can feel like your teen already has little respect or regard for you, and you may feel that apologizing for wrongdoings might compromise that respect even more. But in many circumstances, apologizing is a necessary and appropriate action that might actually help increase his respect and appreciation.

Instructions

    • 1

      Assess the situation. After you've done something you regret, it's important to take a step back and examine your actions, according to licensed clinical social worker Laura Kuehn in an article for Cornerstones for Parents. Think about whether your actions were hurtful or harmful and why you acted the way you did.

    • 2

      Back off and let some time pass before you attempt your apology. This gives you and your teen time to cool down and reflect on what has happened. During this time, think about how you want to phrase your apology. In most cases, it's advisable to keep it short and sweet by simply saying, "I'm sorry for..." or "I apologize for doing..." But it's usually best to avoid shooting from the hip, so take some time to think about what to say first.

    • 3

      Write out what you want to say to your teen if you think a longer apology is warranted or appropriate. You might begin by writing something that lets your teen know how much you love and care for her. Then start your apology with a statement such as, "I was wrong to..." Don't try to justify or rationalize your actions, just focus on the apology. After writing out your apology, you might wish to rehearse it out loud, suggests Kuehn.

    • 4

      Discuss your apology with your partner, a trusted friend or even a counselor or pastoral leader. This isn't always necessary, but it can be helpful if your transgression or wrongdoing was serious, you're struggling with what to say or you don't know whether you should even apologize in the first place.

    • 5

      Sit down with your child during a quiet moment to offer your apology, preferably when you can be alone and without other siblings or distractions to interfere.

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