Punishment Ideas for Back-Talking Teenagers

Nothing tests your patience more than when your teen back talks to you and argues with little to no respect for you and your rules. Understanding that your teen has a natural need to assert her independence will help you administer effective punishments without eroding your relationship. Back-talking from teens is normal, so punishments designed to bring out positive change will keep further rebellion at bay while keeping the peace in your household.

  1. Cool Off and Communicate

    • Giving yourself and your teen time to cool off is essential to prevent overreacting. In the heat of the moment, it's too easy to dish out a punishment that's too difficult to follow through with later. Sometimes it's punishment enough to let your teen consider that her words and tone are hurtful. Take 20 to 30 minutes to cool down alone in order to process the reasons for your child's back-talking. Afterwards, sit down with her and ask how she could have said things differently to get her point across. "Psychology Today" recommends parents to listen, talk, and work out an agreement with their teenager so that any damages are dealt with appropriately and a lesson can be learned.

    Reverse Roles

    • Switch roles with your teen so she can hear what she sounds like when she's back-talking. Repeat her own words to her, using the same tone she used. Afterwards, have her write down three feelings she experienced after putting herself in your shoes. This punishment not only helps your teen develop empathy, it gives her the opportunity to reflect on herself and think before she back talks.

    Methods for Punishment

    • If your child back talks you over the phone, take her cell phone away for a couple days. If she back talks you in person, disengage completely from the conversation and refuse any communication on the subject at hand until she comes up with a polite approach. If your teen disrespects or back talks to you in front of her friends, put a restriction on time spent with them until she apologizes to them and you for her disrespectful behavior.

    Act Confused

    • When your child back talks, your first natural response may be to argue with her in the same manner and tone she's using. This often exacerbates an already volatile situation. If you act confused every time your child is rude to you, she may eventually tire of having to explain her point in a rude and offensive tone. Your confusion will naturally cause her to ratchet down her verbal aggression to a more reasonable and respectful manner of communication.

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