How to Be a Good Step-Parent

Parenting is difficult under the best of circumstances and step-parenting provides additional challenges. These tips can help you be a good step-parent and alleviate some of the common fears and mistakes that are commonly seen in your new role.

Instructions

  1. How to Be a Good Step-Parent

    • 1

      Clarify your role as a step-parent with your spouse to include in the areas of authority, discipline and your title. Resolve questions such as whether you should be addressed as “mom” or your given name and when your spouse should be consulted before taking action. Cover prominent childrearing issues such as religion, education, basic rules and responsibilities for the children. The more issues that can be addressed in advance the better.

    • 2

      Discuss step-parenting problems on a regular basis with your spouse. Be clear on your expectations, to include displays of respect, so that you do not become resentful. Make a firm agreement to not undercut each other's authority in front of the children. Solving issues as they arise will better enable you to be a good step-parent and engage in positive parenting.

    • 3

      Assert your authority in a consistent and temperate way. Avoid extremes such as walking on eggshells around stepchildren or becoming the “heavy” or domineering authority figure. If you feel that your spouse is too lax with the children, work on a parenting plan that involves both of you more equally.

    • 4

      Talk in positive or neutral terms about the biological parent with and in front of stepchildren. One way to undo your efforts as a good step-parent is to speak negatively about a child's parent, natural or otherwise. The consequences include instability for the child and providing a platform for the manipulation of parents, one against the other. If the biological parent is negligent or a poor parent, empathize with the child, offer your support and demonstrate what you would do differently.

    • 5

      Be a good step-parent by allowing your relationship time to develop, which may occur at an unequal pace for you and the stepchild. If you love the child, do so unconditionally rather than expecting the same sentiment. Focus on ways to spend quality time together rather than trying to win the child's affections by spoiling them with material goods.

    • 6

      Arrange a family meeting on a regular basis that allows both parents and children to participate. This enables family members to discuss grievances and promote a sense of unity from the parents. This will go a long way in helping you become a good step-parent.

    2. Previous:

    Next:

    • How to Deal With a Mean Step Mom
      Fairy tales are filled with examples of evil stepmothers who go out of their way to make their stepchildrens lives miserable. In reality, stepmothers arrive in new homes with a variety of skills. Some may be single parents, while others may have no i
    • How to Live With Grown Stepchildren
      Marrying someone with children can be a difficult situation, and if the children are already grown, the situation can be even more complicated. Adult stepchildren can create friction in a new marriage, especially if they still live at home. If you be
    • How to Be the Step-Dad They Need You To Be
      Taking on the responsibility of someone elses children is no easy task. Family structures changes dramatically through death and divorce, and often at least one parent has the opportunity to move on and discover a new life with another partner. A ble