How to Deal With a Spoiled Stepdaughter

Entering an established family in which children have been raised under a different set of guidelines can be stressful. You may feel that your new spouse's daughter is spoiled and incorrigible. However, with patience, communication and fairness, you can begin to build an amicable relationship and make a positive impact on your stepdaughter's upbringing.

Instructions

    • 1

      Communicate with your spouse. Ensure that both of you are enacting the same parenting methods. If your stepdaughter knows she can get what she wants by asking the other parent, you will struggle to discourage spoiled behavior.

    • 2

      Allow your stepdaughter to earn privileges and independence. She may rebel against you because you are a new member of her family, and she may associate you with familial turmoil. Practice positive reinforcement by allowing her to earn treats, such as a play date with friends or movie tickets, when she demonstrates mature, cooperative behavior.

    • 3

      Demand respect from your stepdaughter. Do not tolerate rude or spoiled behavior for the sake of avoiding conflict. An example of spoiled behavior is when a child throws a temper tantrum if she doesn't get her way. You may not be her biological parent, but you are an adult who will now play an important role in her life. Treat her with respect and ensure that she does the same for you.

    • 4

      Establish a routine and a set of firm rules and make exceptions rarely. For example, put a young child in timeout every time she breaks toys or refuse to cooperate, and assign teenagers a rigid curfew. A spoiled child often craves discipline, and although your stepdaughter may initially reject your authority, she is likely to appreciate a life of structure.

    • 5

      Learn about the rules your stepdaughter previously followed and work within this framework. For example, if she was allowed to eat cheeseburgers everyday for lunch but you do not believe this is a healthy practice, compromise by allowing her to eat this meal once a week and find other foods she enjoys. If she realizes you care about her happiness, she may be more willing to let go of spoiled behaviors.

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