How to Help Stepchildren Mature

Learn to accept the fact that in your blended family, not everyone will mature at the same rate, advises Helpguide.org. For example, if you have a 17-year-old biological child, she might be more mature than your 13-year-old stepchild simply because she̵7;s older and more experienced. When you recognize that they are at different stages of maturity, it will help you treat them fairly and help them grow.

Make it a rule in your house that your children ̵1; both biological and stepchildren ̵1; must treat you with respect and do the same for them, advises Helpguide.org. As a stepparent this is an important rule to make, preferably before your wedding. Treating people with respect is a big part of being a mature child. When you treat your stepchildren with respect, you are setting a good example for them to learn from, and by requiring that they treat you with respect, you are teaching them to respect others.

Praise your stepchild̵7;s maturity as often as possible, advises Steven Richfield, a child psychologist and author, in an article on HealthyPlace.com, a mental health channel for Americans. Your stepchild might not realize her actions are mature unless you point it out to her. For example, if she admits to making a mistake before you find out about it, praise her for being mature enough to come to you rather than attempting to hide her mistake. Hearing that her actions are mature and hearing your praise can help her feel proud of herself, which can help her make mature decisions in the future.

Use mature language when speaking to your stepchildren and keep the lines of communication open, advises Helpguide.org. When your stepchildren feel comfortable talking to you without fear of immediate judgment, rejection or criticism, they are more likely to come to you when facing decisions. This type of communication can help your stepchild mature because she is more likely to consider your advice, which could help her make more mature decisions. For example, if your stepchild wants to discuss making changes to a curfew rule, don̵7;t simply shut him down by telling him that as the adult you get to make the rules for curfew. Use this opportunity to discuss the situation like two mature people by hearing him out, asking him to explain why he feels his request is worthy and discussing your position on his curfew with honesty and maturity.

Help your stepchild learn responsibility as a way of becoming more mature. Make a list of responsibilities, such as helping with the laundry and being responsible for keeping his own bedroom clean, to provide your stepchild the ability to learn maturity through responsibility. According to Ron L. Deal, author of ̶0;The Smart Stepfamily: Seven Steps to a Healthy Family,̶1; you and your stepchild̵7;s biological parent should create this list together and present it to him together. These additional responsibilities will help him mature, but also, knowing that his biological parent has given you the power to come up with additional responsibilities and set consequences for not behaving responsibly can help overcome some common stepparent challenges.

Create new traditions for your blended family, advises Helpguide.org. Your stepchildren̵7;s emotions play a big part in their level of maturity. When they feel angry or upset or resentful, they may exhibit less maturity than usual. You can help your stepchildren maintain an acceptable level of maturity by creating new traditions to help them understand that your entire family is important and that you want to create new memories that include everyone.Your stepkids likely will be a lot more mature about the changes in their lives if everyone is experiencing change, not just them. Create new holiday traditions, such as buying everyone a new pair of pajamas to wear on Christmas Eve while you all listen to Christmas music and bake Santa̵7;s cookies together.