How to Get Your Kids to Admit They Stole

When your kids steal a possession that belongs to someone else, whether it be their school teacher, a classmate, another sibling or you or your spouse, it is natural for them to try to cover up their bad deed by lying about it. Lying, according to Frances Stott Ph.D., is part of a child's emotional development process as he learns about right from wrong. As a parent you can help your children move past the fear of confessing so that they admit to you that they stole.

Instructions

    • 1

      Ask your child questions about the missing item. If something in your home goes missing, such as money, the cookies, a sibling's toy or your lipstick, start your investigation by giving your kid the chance to tell you where the missing object went. You can simply ask "Do you know where my money on the dresser went?" and wait for a response. If your child is guilty, but wants to lie to cover it up, she will say she doesn't know.

    • 2

      Reassure your child that if he took the item you are missing, it is okay to admit to doing so. Tell him that everyone makes mistakes from time to time, and deserves a second chance. You want to teach your kid to confess to wrongdoings as opposed to keeping up the lies. This helps to build your child's conscience so that he learns to understand the difference between good and bad behaviors.

    • 3

      Instruct your child to help you search around the house for the missing item. Getting your kid in on the hunt shows her that the missing item is of value to you. This may be an indirect way of getting her to admit she took what you are looking for.

    • 4

      Avoid shaming or threatening your kid by talking about how much trouble he will be in. If you scare your child, he will not want to admit anything to you. Instead, you need to make him feel like it is safe to confess his mistake to you.

    • 5

      Ask your child what she thinks happened to the missing item. Instead of admitting that she stole it, she may tell you that it dropped into her backpack by accident. When you find the missing item in the backpack, you can continue your questioning by asking how it got there.

    • 6

      Keep asking questions about the misplaced item until your child is out of excuses and ideas and admits to having stolen it. It's okay to make your child feel slightly uncomfortable when confronted about stealing.

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