How to Handle Kids When They Are Physically Aggressive Towards You
Physical aggression in kids can be a symptom of many issues: anger, frustration, a need for attention, stress, fear, or even simple exhaustion. Ultimately, physical aggression in kids, particularly the very young, is a sign of an inability to express emotions and needs in a healthy and constructive way. Physical aggression becomes a means of acting out internalized emotions. While kids are often less likely to behave in a physically aggressive manner with parents and other adults, preferring verbal aggression with adults and physical aggression with their peers, aggressive children may act out toward adults by hitting, biting, or kicking.
Instructions
Pinpointing your child's aggression triggers. Observe behaviors and determine triggers for your child's physical aggression. A common trigger for tantrum-like biting and kicking is extreme tiredness, and ensuring your child gets appropriate amounts of sleep can quickly and easily nip this problem in the bud. Or your child may react aggressively when you interfere with something he wants, like taking away a toy or refusing to buy his favorite cereal in the grocery store. Other children react poorly to being rushed or stressed. Offer means of positive expression. Once you determine what is really bothering your child, explain -- clearly and concisely -- to him the way he should be expressing himself. Explain that simple phrases like "May I please have that?" or "I'm tired, Daddy," are far more effective and appropriate for getting your child what he wants. When your child does express his feelings properly, offer positive reinforcement: "Thank you for telling me what you want without hitting or grabbing." Remain calm. Reacting in anger to your child's behavior will only create bigger problems. Physically aggressive children often experience ongoing anxiety and tension, and constantly feel the need for self defense, which your angry response will trigger. Don't launch into a tirade on what your child did wrong, young children will zone out instead of feeling convicted. Enforce negative consequences for physical aggression. Immediately tell the child "No biting," (or hitting, kicking, or whatever the aggressive behavior was). You may also put the child down, or tell the child you won't play with him for five minutes after he hits you. It is also appropriate to remove your child from the situation that triggered the outburst.
