Reason Why Parents Excuse Bullying

Edward Dragan, doctor of education and scholar of school bullying, mentions in his book, ̶0;The Bully Action Guide,̶1; that most parents are unaware when bullying occurs. But in those few cases when they discover bullying, they are likely to dismiss or excuse such situations. Knowing why this is so is the first step to solving a bullying problem that could grow worse.

  1. Lack of Awareness

    • Though technically not an excuse for bullying, lack of awareness is one of the main reasons bullying continues. Not only do bullies make active attempts to hide their behavior from adults, but the victims of bullies also hide the fact that they̵7;ve been bullied. When bullying takes place in nonviolent forms, such as through rumor-spreading or cyberbullying, parents are even less likely to be aware of the bullying. This form of neglect leads to the continuation of many acts of bullying.

    'Kids Will be Kids'

    • Today̵7;s parents grew up in an era in when bullying was considered natural. At that time, researchers were not aware of the long-term consequences of bullying. Nor did they pay particular attention to case studies that showed bullying to be a major influence in the instances of children committing suicide. Parents from that era often dismiss bullying as part of growing up. However, bullying has long-term effects, including increasing the probability of a child engaging in criminal activity, substance abuse and developing mental health disorders. Sixty percent of middle school bullies end up with criminal records in adulthood, which shows the severe effect of allowing bullying to go unnoticed, according to the book "Bullying at School" by Dan Olweus, a research professor of psychology at the University of Bergen in Norway.

    Blaming the Bullied

    • In some circumstances, parents might be aware of bullying but might choose to dismiss it as being deserved. Bullies often lie about their behavior to hide it from parents, and because parents often are unable to see the faults of their own children, the parents of a bully might feel it is the victim who is at fault. A bully might even paint the circumstance to seem like he is the victim and the victim is the bully. Parents who look at the victim as the problem-starter are unlikely to make attempts to change their child̵7;s behavior.

    Removing Excuses

    • Parents of bullies are unlikely to support bullying, but at the same time they might not have a reason to stop their child̵7;s bullying behavior. What̵7;s most important is that they are aware of their child̵7;s behavior. Because they might not be getting the truth out of their child, they might only learn of bullying behavior after receiving a call from the victim̵7;s parents or the school. After becoming aware of the behavior, those parents who dismiss bullying as ̶0;kids being kids̶1; should become informed of the consequences of bullying and the fact that most states have anti-bullying laws.

    2. Previous:

    Next:

    • How to Maintain Eye Contact of Autistic Children
      Autistic children often do not want to look others in the eye when speaking to them or playing with them. This is a well-documented problem and it can cause concern for parents who are raising an autistic child. Teaching an autistic child the social
    • Overcoming Immaturity in Children
      Some children lag behind others in emotional and social development. They act and think much like a much younger child and tend to play with children a few years less than their age. They may have Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) or Attention Deficit
    • What Kind of Impact Do Dads Have on Their Daughters?
      Familial relationships are always complex, but it is difficult to overstate the effect that dads can have on their daughters. Through their parents, children make emotional connections that will eventually help them develop expectations about the wor