What Kind of Impact Do Dads Have on Their Daughters?

Familial relationships are always complex, but it is difficult to overstate the effect that dads can have on their daughters. Through their parents, children make emotional connections that will eventually help them develop expectations about the world around them and their understanding of themselves. When it comes to the dad-daughter dynamic, issues related to familial stability, body image and expectations in future romantic relationships often emerge as highly influential. Dads who create strong, positive connections with their daughters help prepare them for a successful adulthood.

  1. Familial Stability

    • Family experts often refer to ̶0;attachment theory̶1; when explaining the importance of familial stability in creating a positive foundation for childhood. Attachment theory refers to the ability of children to feel consistent, supportive connections with their parents. Not experiencing these connections can lead to problems; for example, young women battling eating disorders sometimes describe their fathers as distant, always working, or simply never around. Even in familial situations when dads and moms do not live together, fathers can affect their daughters in a positive way by participating in their lives. Making phone calls, attending school events, and enforcing home expectations for behavior all help remind a daughter that she is cared for and loved.

    Romantic Relationships

    • People often assume that mother-daughter relationships carry more weight than father-daughter relationships. However, the relationship between a dad and his daughter (in particular, their communication style) sometimes establishes a pattern that she will follow in her dating life. It is a common assumption that a daughter who experiences abuse from her father is more likely to experience abuse in a later romantic relationship; however, a stronger correlation between poor communication in a father-daughter relationship extends to poor communication in an eventual romantic relationship. Statistics aside, dads can positively affect their daughters̵7; future relationships by modeling positive, communicative behaviors. Facing conflicts with calm, constructive discussion rather than avoiding them or initiating emotional outbursts is a step in the right direction.

    Explicit Modeling

    • Daughters learn a lot about their dads, and men in general, by observing them at work and play. For example, a daughter who helps her dad fold laundry or mows the lawn learns important information about responsibility and care. Yet, dads can also affect daughters through explicit conversation that affirms their relationship in a positive way. In ̶0;Fathering our Daughters,̶1; writer and teacher Jim Coleman writes about the lasting effects of saying ̶0;I love you no matter what,̶1; as an expression of unconditional love. Pairing the statement ̶0;I love you̶1; with a compliment about a daughter̵7;s physical appearance or performance in school might unintentionally create anxiety about being ̶0;good enough̶1; to deserve love.

    Potential for Conflict

    • Dads can do more harm than good in avoiding topics because it makes them feel uncomfortable. Menstruation, dating or body image issues can all seem like intimidating topics for a dad to tackle. While every dad will find his own way to express his support for a daughter dealing with sensitive issues, it is important not to avoid them completely. Dads can continue to affect daughters well into their adulthood ̵1; so, it is never too late to attempt to rebuild a relationship by asking how to become better involved.

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