How to Treat a Stepdaughter's Children

Becoming part of a stepfamily can have its ups and downs. Marrying a man who has adult children is intimidating enough, but when those adult children already have kids of their own, it can make it even more difficult for you to find your place in the family. You'll need to get to know everyone and build individual relationships with them, including your new step-grandchildren. Having healthy relationships can make the times that your blended family spends together memorable and more enjoyable.

Instructions

    • 1

      Work on creating a healthy relationship with your stepdaughter before you jump into getting to know her children. Show your stepdaughter how much you care for her father and the rest of her family with your actions. Allow her time to adjust to your new marriage. Be patient and give her plenty of time to accept the relationship you have with her father. Encourage your spouse to be understanding and give her the love she needs.

    • 2

      Reach out to your stepdaughter when you feel the time is right. Open up to her about your feelings and tell her how important it is to you that the two of you become friends, and be part of the glue that holds the entire family together. Express to her how important it is to you that you have a bond with not only her but her children as well. Understand that becoming a blended family takes time and that there's no magic fix to make it happen overnight.

    • 3

      Spend time with your stepdaughter so that you can get to know her better. Make her feel special by making sure you remember her birthday, and do something nice for her that day. Invite her to lunch or out to dinner occasionally, to give the two of you opportunities to spend one-on-one time together. Ask questions about her and her children to get her to open up a bit. Express an interest in what types of things your new step-grandchildren enjoy doing and ask her for advice about how to get to know them better. Just avoid being too pushy.

    • 4

      Give your husband time with his daughter and grandchildren. Help strengthen your husband's relationship with his daughter by giving the two of them time alone when she visits. Allow your husband to be as involved as he wants with his grandchildren. When your stepdaughter sees your selflessness, it can go a long way toward showing her how much you care about her and her father.

    • 5

      Invite your stepdaughter's entire family over for family dinners or holidays. Spend time talking and bonding with each of your step-grandchildren. Just like with your stepdaughter, you don't want to be pushy, but instead you'll want to show an interest in them and work on gaining their trust. Do the things your step-grandchildren love to do, whether it's playing outside with them, reading to them or baking together.

    • 6

      Treat your step-grandchildren equally. If you have grandchildren of your own, it's important to show your step-grandchildren the same love and attention that you show your own children's kids. Avoid playing favorites.

    • 7

      Express an interest in your step-grandchildren's activities. Attend their sporting events and school activities. Ask about volunteering at their school or with some of their extracurricular activities.

    • 8

      Volunteer to babysit your stepdaughter's children. If she's not comfortable with your keeping her children by yourself just yet, ask your husband to babysit with you. This will give your stepdaughter some alone time and allow you time to bond with her children.

    • 9

      Show your step-grandkids love and affection when your stepdaughter is comfortable with you doing so. Shower them with hugs and praise when you get to spend time with them.

    2. Previous:

    Next:

    • What is the difference between statutory private and voluntary settings that care for children?
      Statutory, Private, and Voluntary Settings for Child Care: A BreakdownThe key difference between statutory, private, and voluntary settings lies in their funding source and accountability:1. Statutory Settings:* Funding: Publicly funded by the govern
    • Who are parents?
      Parents are the biological or adoptive adults who raise and care for a child. Heres a breakdown:Biological Parents:* Mother: The woman who gives birth to a child.* Father: The man who contributes genetic material (sperm) to create a child.Adoptive P
    • Responsibilities of an Adult Son Living at Home
      Its increasingly common for adult children to return home to their parents. Unfortunately, this can lead to cases where the adult son starts acting like a child again, expecting his parents to cater to his every whim. If your son has moved back in wi