Responsibilities of an Adult Son Living at Home

Examples

• All families require everyone living there to pitch in to make things work. Your son's responsibilities could include daily chores, such as doing the dishes, vacuuming, cooking, taking out the garbage or taking care of the lawn or garden. If he has his own separate space within your house, you might expect him to cook his own meals, keep his own area clean and do his own laundry. Other responsibilities could be financial, such as paying rent, paying a utility bill or buying groceries.

Establishing Responsibilities

• It's important to talk to your son about his responsibilities and come up with a plan together. Every situation is unique. For example, if your son is moving in because he lost his job and can't afford his old home, it would be unfair to ask him to pay rent, at least until he got a new job. However, he does need a new job, so one of his responsibilities could be to send out a certain number of resumes each day.

Ultimate Goals

• Ultimately, your son's goal should be to move out of your house. Some of the responsibilities he has should relate to reaching that goal. Getting a job alone might be all he needs to move out. If he's trying to buy a home, he may need to set aside a certain amount of money from each paycheck that he receives.

Setting Consequences

• You generosity should have limits, lest he walk all over you. In addition to setting responsibilities that your son must live up to, you should also set consequences for not following through with them. Some might be natural -- if he doesn't do his own laundry, he won't have any clean underwear -- while others may be financially motivating -- if he doesn't mow the lawn, you'll charge him $50 to do it yourself. Again, you have to come up with a system that works for you.