How to Let Go of Your Adult Children

Whether your child is leaving for college or he's finally moving out at the age of 30, letting go of your child is difficult. Creating some space between you and your child will help him become a more independent adult, and it will help you appreciate your own life more. Rather than feeling sad, look forward to the new relationship you can form with your child now that he's an adult.

Instructions

    • 1

      Encourage your child to move out if he's still living with you. He should find his own home and pack himself, but you may help him move his belongings if he needs it. Encouraging children to live on their own is the first major step to helping them become independent adults.

    • 2

      Make a list of all the skills and qualities your child has that will help her be a successful adult. This will help remind you that you did your job as a parent and will reassure you that she will be fine without your constant help.

    • 3

      Resist the urge to check in on him constantly. Don't call, text or email him repeatedly; doing so may make him resent you.

    • 4

      Stop bailing her out. If she knows that you'll always lend her money or come do her laundry, she'll never become mature and independent. If she constantly asks for help, gently suggest ways she can solve her problems herself.

    • 5

      Arrange a planned time to talk. Come to a mutual agreement that you'll talk every Sunday night or you'll have lunch together each Wednesday. This plan will reassure you that you'll still get to see him, but it will give you both some space.

    • 6

      Spend more time with your friends. Spending less time focused on your child allows you to put more time toward your other relationships. Organize a weekly dinner with your friends or invite everyone to your home for drinks. Filling your life with excitement will keep you from missing her.

    • 7

      Choose some new hobbies to fill your time and keep you busy. Think about what you were interested in before you had children. Take golf lessons or join a new Pilates studio. Now is the time to enjoy your own life, rather than only thinking about your children.

    2. Previous:

    Next:

    • How to Cope When All Your Children Leave Home
      When the last child moves out to attend college or start his new life as an adult, a parent typically experiences several emotions all at once. Its normal to feel sad, lonely, unnecessary or, on the other hand, happy at being able to focus on yoursel
    • How to Deal With Empty Nest Syndrome as a Single Parent
      Your children have filled your world with activities, but now youre alone as a single parent after theyve moved out to attend college or live independently. Empty nest syndrome is the description for an adult type of separation anxiety. Jane Ehrman,
    • How to Let Go of Your Adult Children
      Whether your child is leaving for college or hes finally moving out at the age of 30, letting go of your child is difficult. Creating some space between you and your child will help him become a more independent adult, and it will help you appreciate