How to Deal With Children Leaving the Nest and Let Go
"Empty nest syndrome" is a common experience that many parents encounter once their children leave home, either for college, marriage or employment somewhere else. The transition can be a jarring one. After all, going from years of seeing and taking care of a child daily to total absence can be a drastic shock to the system. Instead of seeing your empty nest as something to mourn, however, try to view it as a positive move forward in life, both for you and your child.
Instructions
Prepare for the change. You will likely have advance warning before your child leaves home. Begin the process of coping with your emotions beforehand to make it easier on you. The earlier you begin to prepare, the less startled you will feel when it actually takes place. Acknowledge (and try to be happy about) the fact that things are now going to be different and that you will have a different role in your child's life. If you have any concerns and fears, reach out to other parents who have already experienced the "empty nest." Discuss with them the ways they coped with the life adjustment. Allow yourself time to be sad. Do not deny your sadness. All that will accomplish is suppressed your emotions and therefore intensifying them. Take the time you need to grieve, but do not let it get out of hand. For example, give yourself one week to process your feelings. Go through photo albums and look at childhood pictures. Sit in your daughter's bedroom and reflect on some of your happiest times together as a family. Occupy yourself. One of the most effective ways of dealing with empty nest syndrome is simply to be busy. The more you have on your plate, the less time you will have to feel sad and nostalgic. Take advantage of some of your new freedom and use the empty nest as an opportunity to get out there and enjoy the beginning of the next stage in your life. Go back to school and learn a new skill. Go on a vacation to an exotic foreign locale. Pursue a hobby that has always interested you, whether it is pottery or sewing. Socialize with old friends you haven't seen in years. Connect with your child in creative ways. Although your child might not be at home everyday to see you face-to-face, that doesn't mean that the relationship has to end. Keep your relationship with your child going by using technology. Use your camera phone to take snapshots of the family dog to send her, along with funny jokes. Install a chat program onto your laptop so you can communicate with her online. Begin a tradition of talking to her on the phone once a week, on Sunday nights for example. Take the empty nest as an opportunity to enrich how you interact with your child. Communicate with your partner. If you are still together with your child's other parent, reach out to him. After all, he is the only other person on earth who completely understands what you are now going through. Speak to him candidly about your emotions, what you wish to do in the future, your dreams and even the things that concern you the most about your child being away from home. In turn, ask that he express the same things back to you.
