How to Deal With Possessive Parents

Even parents who seem relaxed and calm can, at times, be possessive of their children. Sometimes it is because they want to keep the child safe, or they simply want the child all to themselves. Other times, the parents are convinced that they know what is best for their offspring. Either way, possessive parenting can hinder the growth of a young child and negatively affect the relationship with an adult child.

Instructions

    • 1

      Keep communication open and neutral. Talk to your parents and let them know that you understand why they are possessive. Explain to them that doing everything for you is hindering your growth as a person and that you want to be able to choose your own friends and activities. Do not attack or accuse, but remain friendly and understanding. If you are an adult child, you may need to proceed with extra care if your parent has been possessive for many years.

    • 2

      Assure your parents that you will still look to them for guidance and respect their opinions, but that you must strike out on your own in order to learn. Make them comfortable in your need for independence by not attacking them. Let them know you are ready to make your own decisions and experience life for yourself. Once you begin your independent life, remember to ask your parents for advice so they still feel needed.

    • 3

      Let go of the desire to constantly please your parents. Stop making decisions based on what your parents want, and start thinking about what you want. Recognize that they often want what is best for you, but realize they do not always know what is best. Learn to ignore them if they do not approve of your mate, job, house or whatever, unless of course they have good reason or fear for your safety.

    • 4
      If your parents offer financial help, give them a polite "no thanks."

      Do not let your parents overindulge your every want and need. Possessive parents tend to drown their children (even adult children) with everything they ask for or want. They also tend to use money as leverage. Cut yourself off from your parents financially. If you are an adult, do not depend on them for a place to live. Gain independence and they will have no choice but be less possessive.

    • 5

      Join a club or get involved in an activity or job that your parents cannot control. If you remove yourself from their constant supervision and criticism, they will eventually be less controlling and possessive. Learn to recognize emotional blackmail and do not let your parents make you feel guilty about your decisions or your actions.

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