When Are Kids Old Enough for a Time Out?

She can't yet utter a complete sentence, but you suspect she willfully knocked that vase over to get a rise out of you and now you're wondering whether your toddler is old enough to benefit from a time out. The answer might surprise you. Implementing even a few minutes of discipline can make a big difference in the future behavior of even a very young child.

  1. When to Start

    • It's up to you to gauge when your child is old enough to know the difference between acceptable behavior and unacceptable behavior. Without this understanding, your little one won't understand that getting a time out is a consequence of doing something she shouldn't have been. With that in mind, expect that a child will be ready for a modified time out when she's a toddler. This method can be effective with children as young as 2 or 3, according to KidsHealth, though AskDrSears.com recommends starting when a little one is as young as 18 months. Time outs don't outgrow their usefulness, as the technique in some form can be used with children of all ages -- even teenagers.

    When to Use It

    • Ask yourself two questions when determining whether your child needs a time out. Is she knowingly committing some wrong and is she in any danger of hurting herself or others? In either case, a time out might be your best course of action. So, the first time your toddler pulls the dog's fur, for example, explain why that's not allowed. If she repeats the action, you might offer a warning: "You must be gentle with Fido. If you pull his fur again, you'll need to take a break."

      After you've taught her that an action is wrong and you're confident she understands what you are telling her, giving her a time out is appropriate as discipline. A young child may also require a time out if she's having a major tantrum, flailing or otherwise losing control of her body.

    Introducing Time Out

    • When you're introducing time out to a young child, look at the process as a way to teach your child about the consequences of behavior rather than as a punishment. Explain that she needs to move to a special place away from her toys to sit for a few minutes because something she did is not allowed in your family.

      Choose a location, such as the bottom step of a staircase or a stool in a quiet area that is free of distractions, and declare this the time-out spot. Set a timer that she can see and explain that she must sit still until it beeps. AskDrSears.com recommends a time out equal to one minute for every year of age.

      When your little one is first learning about time out, you might sit next to her, remaining quiet unless you need to remind her to stay seated until time is up. She won't feel isolated when you are by her side.

    Making Time Out Work

    • Consistency is the key to making time outs work. If you have already told your child that pushing her brother will earn her a time out, send her immediately to the stool each time she breaks this rule. Remember that she's looking to you for cues, so when you're fuming or just too irritable to stay calm, enlist another adult to supervise her time out -- or stay on the other side of the room, breathing deeply to calm yourself down.

      End a time out with affection and conversation so she understands that her behavior doesn't make you love her less. Give a hug and kiss and explain how she should behave differently next time. Finally, don't be afraid to adjust time-out procedures to make them work for you. A teen will scoff if you send her to time out, but making her go for a walk around the block, for example, might help her calm down.

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