How to be Patient with Children
It's easy to keep your cool when your children aren't drawing on the walls, yelling at the top of their lungs or hitting each other. During times of stress, however, every parent has sometimes lost her patience. The Ask Dr. Sears website advises that, rather than feeling guilty when you lose control, use your feelings of anger and impatience to your advantage -- as a means of identifying what's wrong, creating a workable solution and coming to a better understanding of your own needs.
Instructions
Set the Stage
Impose rules and routines when your children are young so following rules will be normal, expected behavior. Impose limits in areas such as bedtimes, acceptable behavior during meals and when to complete homework. The KidsHealth website suggests it's easier to be a patient parent if you set limits before you lose control. Communicate clearly and you'll cut down on the number of times you'll have to repeat yourself, trying your patience less. Ask your children questions to ensure they understand both the rules and the consequences for misbehavior. Ask yourself if your expectations are realistic. KidsHealth.org suggests that when expectations are set too high, children misbehave because they aren't capable of following the rules. If you think your 6-year-old, for example, can wait 20 minutes for his turn to talk, you are setting your sights too high. Ask, instead, that he raise his hand and be sure to answer him after about five minutes and see if he's more successful following this modified rule. Chill Out
Take some time to calm down when your children have pushed your buttons. Tim Jahn, a human development specialist with Cornell Cooperative Extension, recommends counting to 10 or taking some breaths to calm yourself down, so you'll be more likely to impose discipline geared toward learning, rather than punishment. Remind yourself that children will follow your example. If your children see you blowing your stack regularly, they are going to believe that throwing a tantrum is an acceptable problem-solving strategy. While it might be hard to control your temper, setting a good example is likely to make things around your house more pleasant in the long term. Talk to yourself. The Ask Dr. Sears website suggests parents coach themselves by giving themselves reminders such as, "You can handle this; This is just a small issue; Let it go; or Everyone makes mistakes." Concentrate on changing one or two major behavior problems at a time while letting go of smaller issues. You'll be more patient, advises the Ask Dr. Sears website, if you attempt to control a small number of things, rather than becoming overwhelmed by trying to manage everything at once. Enjoy "Me" Time
Maintain a regular sleep schedule, as you're more likely to be patient with your children if you're well-rested. Although individual needs vary, the National Sleep Foundation indicates most adults need at least seven hours a night, and that a reduction of as few as two hours a night can significantly affect your alertness. Make time for exercise. KidsHealth.org suggests that taking care of your own physical health makes you a more patient parent. To enjoy health benefits, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends adults engage in a weekly regimen of at least 150 minutes of moderately-intense aerobic activity, such as brisk walking, and spend time at least two days each week doing muscle-strengthening exercise, such as working with resistance bands. Pursue your own interests. Having some adult time helps you feel more satisfied and fulfilled as parent, making it more likely you'll be patient with your children. KidsHealth.org reminds parents that enjoying private time sets a good example for children, teaching them that it's important to make time to meet needs in a healthy way.
