How to Stop Your Child From Being Rude Or Embarrassing You in Public

Realize That Other People Probably Sympathize More Than You Think

The only people who don't realize that children have minds of their own and will act up regardless of a how good a parent you are, are people who haven't had a child of their own. You could be the best parent in the world, but there are going to be times when your child is hungry, cranky or just plain ornery and is not in the mood to cooperate. I know that when I or my other friends who are mothers see a parent having a hard time with a child, our first thought is not that the parent or child is bad. Our first thought is "Whew! I'm glad it's not me this time!" Don't be overly concerned or embarrassed by the situation. It might cause you to act in a way or talk to your child in a way that you normally would not at home and just make the situation worse.

Do Not Turn the Situation into an All Out Public War

Do not belittle yourself or your child by screaming it out in public. Pull the child aside and talk to them. Tell them you are angry and that they are already in trouble and if it keeps up, there will be a serious punishment when you both get home. Try not to overreact in the moment. Don't scream things or threaten things you normally wouldn't just so you can appear to be a good parent in front of others.

Give yourself some time to cool down and decide if the behavior was really that bad, or if it was simply the fact that you were embarrassed that made it seem so. Don't worry, you are a good parent. You and your child just had a bad moment.

Figure Out How It Started

Is there anything you might have said that started the confrontation? Sometimes as parents we unthinkingly say something that might embarrass our child without our even realizing it. Things like "Pull your pants up" or "Wipe your nose!" While it might be normal to say those things at home, it could be very embarrassing for a child to be told that in front of others. Their automatic reaction might be to strike back simply because they were embarrassed first.

Prepare Your Child In Advance of an Outing

Quite often the biggest fights occur when you attempt to pull a child away from something they are enjoying doing. If you are visiting a friend, going to a birthday party or even going to the schoolyard for awhile, let them know in advance where you are going and how long you are planning on staying. Something like "We are going to Josh's birthday party until 4:00. Then everyone has to go home so they can do their homework and have dinner. That gives you three hours to have a good time, but right after they serve the birthday cake we will have to leave." This way, your child knows ahead of time what to expect and doesn't react with a burst of anger when their playtime is unexpectedly cut short.

Be Realistic

Take your childs' age and the circumstances into account. You can hardly expect a three year old to be on their best behavior if you are out shopping for hours at a time and they are hungry or tired. The same goes for a seven year old who is standing around doing nothing while you stop to chat with a friend for a half hour. Try to take their feelings and the circumstances into account.

Try the Token System

Give your child three tokens before going out. Tell them that anytime they act up, misbehave or argue with you, they have to hand over one token. If they have any tokens left by the time they get home they can trade them in for a movie or a snack, but if they have no tokens left when they get home, they will get a time out. This will make them think twice before acting up or at the very least, pick their battles wisely.

Be Consistent

Notice if your child misbehaves the same exact way at home but you just haven't noticed it or you've let them get away with it because the two of were not in public. It is very difficult to make a child suddenly stop acting in a way they are used to acting all the time. Be consistent about their behavior inside the house as well as out.