How to Encourage Good Behavior in Children
Drawing on the walls in crayon, hitting a younger sibling or pulling the dog's tail -- sometimes your child's misbehavior can make you scratch your head and question your parenting style. HealthyChildren.org reassures parents, however, that occasional acting out in childhood is normal and not a cause for concern. You can make your life easier as your child negotiates the difficult task of growing up, however, by imposing routine, setting limits and responding appropriately when he acts out.
Instructions
Setting Expectations
Give your children the structure and safety of a routine, beginning at an early age. Impose limits in areas such as bedtimes and television watching. When your child clearly knows and accepts the routine, he's less likely to behave negatively out of confusion or insecurity. KidsHealth.org suggests that imposing limits on your child helps teach him self-control, which encourages the likelihood he'll behave. Explain the reasons for the rules and limits, in a concrete way your child can comprehend. Test his understanding by having him repeat the rules or asking him questions. Teaching children the reasons behind the rules helps them learn. If children understand why they are being asked to do something, they may be more likely to comply, notes KidsHealth.org. Have more detailed discussions with your children as they mature. KidsHealth.org suggests, for example, that school-aged children have more developed language and thinking skills than preschoolers, so explanations and discussions with this age group can be more detailed. Notice and compliment positive behavior, especially if it's evident that your child is working hard to change an old behavior. "That's great that you used your manners, Lucas," you can say, when your child remembers to say "please" or "thank you." KidsHealth.org recommends complimenting your child in a sincere way at least once a day. Demonstrate positive behavior, so your children have a good example of how to behave. Treat others with respect, resolve conflicts in a healthy way and practice patience to bring out the best in your child. Communicate to your child that she's a worthwhile human being. Convey your regard for her with your tone of voice, gestures and facial expressions. Building your child's self-esteem in these subtle ways teaches her to expect more from herself, increasing the likelihood that she'll behave positively. Kids Need Discipline
Set logical consequences to remind your child to follow the rules. HealthyChildren.org suggests, for example, that you should take away toys that children are fighting over. Using logical consequences helps children see the implications of their negative behavior in a concrete, tangible way. Give one warning and then impose consequences. KidsHealth.org suggests that children might benefit from being given a warning to remind them of boundaries and limits. They recommend following through consistently on consequences, however, if the warning doesn't stop the behavior immediately. Take away privileges. Allow your children to earn the right to stay up later, go to special activities or play video games and remove these privileges when they misbehave. Clearly communicate to your child the reason you're removing the privilege and let him know how he can earn it back. For example, you can say something like, "You lose the right to play your video game tonight because you didn't do your homework, but if you do homework first tomorrow night, you can play your game again." Use timeouts when your child reverts to earlier, negative behavior, such as biting, talking back or hitting. Sit your child in a corner by himself for a period of 1 minute for every year of his age. The timeout ends when he's been sitting quietly for the entire time.
