How to Intervene on Behalf of a Bullied Child

Bullying is a common problem, and according to StopBullying.gov, 28 percent of sixth through 12th graders experience bullying and 70.6 percent of students say they have witnessed bullying in school. Kids who experience bullying are at greater risk for depression, poor performance in school and violent behavior, including violence toward self. The Family Resource Facilitation Program says that as much as 85 percent of bullying takes place in front of others, and that when bystanders intervene, they can stop bullying within 10 seconds in the majority of cases.

Instructions

    • 1

      Listen to your child. By listening to your child talk about his day, you can recognize some of the first signs of bullying. Listen for clues that there is tension between friends. Pay attention to any change in his attitude about school or friends. If your child does tell you that he is experiencing bullying, resist the impulse to act right away. Continue to listen so that you can gather all the facts and get a full overview of the situation. If you overreact or try to immediately take control of the situation, your child may not keep talking, and you may not get important details.

    • 2

      Ask a lot of questions. Before you can intervene, you need to know exactly what is happening. Are the bullies calling names, or are they using physical intimidation or violence? Is the bullying limited to social maneuvering such as kids telling other kids not to talk to your child? Does the bullying involve threats to your child's physical safety, such as hitting? Once you know exactly what is happening, you can take action.

    • 3

      Validate your child's feelings. Some kids resort to violent behavior because they feel that their parents and teachers are not taking the bullying seriously. Tell your child that you understand how painful the situation is, and tell him that he has a right to be hurt and angry. Then pledge to find a resolution together.

    • 4

      Contact school officials. Talk to your child's teachers, the principal and other administrators to let them know that your child is being bullied. Provide all the details of the situation so far, and work with them to find a resolution. Do not simply take their word that they will handle the situation. Ask for a specific plan of action, and then follow up on the progress.

    • 5

      If physical harm or threats were involved in the bullying, contact law enforcement. Not only do these behaviors put your child in danger of serious harm in the future, they are also illegal. Press charges if necessary.

    • 6

      If you see bullying in progress at the school or at the park, intervene immediately. Separate the children, and question them separately about what happened. Find out the names of the bullies, and let them know that you will be following up with their parents. Be sure to actually follow-up with a phone call or an in-person meeting.

    • 7

      Get assistance from another adult, if needed, to stop the bullying when you see it. If a weapon is involved, or if there are threats of serious injury, contact the police immediately.

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