How to Give Emotional Support to Kids After Losing a Pet

For many children, pets are members of the family, best friends, confidantes and playmates. When a child loses a pet, it is often the first experience he has with death. Depending on the age of the child, the loss of a pet can bring up a host of emotions, including confusion, anger, sadness or numbness. As with any emotional issue, children need the opportunity to express and work through their feelings. Your initial reaction might be to try to protect your child from pain and other unpleasant emotions. But being honest about your own feelings and talking about what happened may allow you to provide an optimal level of emotional support to your child. It also models appropriate ways of handling grief, says psychologist Janet Frank in an article for Gainesville Family Magazine.

Instructions

    • 1

      Decide how to break the news, if you haven't already done so. According to KidsHealth, the way you relay this information largely depends on the age of your child and her maturity level. Brevity is generally best -- use the words "death" and avoid saying "put to sleep," Frank advises. This can be a sign of your own fear of the issue, which can create sleep disorders and emotional problems for your child. Use a comforting tone and provide physical affection, such as holding your child's hand or giving her a hug.

    • 2

      Allow your child to ask questions. Provide as many honest answers as you can. Certain questions are unanswerable, such as "Where did Rex go?" or "What happens when you die?" Saying that you don't know or drawing on your own faith-based beliefs are both acceptable ways to address these questions, says KidsHealth.

    • 3

      Share information about pets you might have had as a child. Explain how you felt when your pets died. Sharing recollections and emotions about your own losses may help him feel comforted and less alone.

    • 4

      Empathize with your child. Tell her you can imagine how difficult the loss is and how sad she might be feeling. Validate her feelings and encourage her to talk to you about her pet whenever she needs to. Let her know that the pain will eventually fade, KidsHealth advises. But it's also important to help her reach closure and help her move on.

    • 5

      Discuss the ways your child might like to memorialize his pet. According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, every child needs to mourn in his own way. Some children might like to write a letter to their pet to say goodbye; others might prefer to draw pictures or write stories. Ask your child what he would prefer. Ask him if he would like to have a memorial ceremony. For some children, this can be a helpful way of reaching closure.

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