Development of Sudden Crying & Anxiety in a Toddler

Separation Anxiety

• A toddler often becomes anxious, clingy and emotional when his parent or caregiver leaves the room for a moment, drops him at day care or leaves him with a sitter. According to BabyCenter, the award-winning pregnancy and parenting website, separation anxiety normally appears around the age of 10 months and can come and go throughout the toddler stage. When a baby realizes that he is separate from his parent, he also begins to understand that this means he could be left on his own. In some toddlers, this fear of abandonment can be far stronger than any desire for independence.

Stranger Anxiety

• Stranger anxiety is common between the ages of 12 and 24 months, says Heidi Murkoff, author of the best-selling pregnancy book, "What to Expect When You̵7;re Expecting." This type of anxiety is triggered by the fact that a toddler can now tell the difference between familiar faces and strangers, but it may rear its head with non-strangers too, even close relatives such as grandparents. This can be baffling for parents, says Murkoff, but it's simply an indication that the toddler is going through a particularly clingy phase, and it will pass. If you notice your toddler becoming noticeably anxious or upset when in the company of a particular person, Murkoff suggests observing how that person behaves around your child in case he or she is doing something - possibly unintentionally - that upsets your child.

Specific Fears

• A fear of something specific may lead to crying and anxiety in a toddler. Sometimes the fear is the result of an actual situation; for example, a toddler may have been scared by a boisterous puppy and go on to develop a fear of all dogs. On the other hand, the fear may come entirely from her imagination, or have been triggered by a bedtime story with a scary monster or spooky witch. As the toddler matures and learns how to control her emotions and separate her imagination from real life, says BabyCenter, any such anxieties are bound to fade.

Handling Crying and Anxiety

• While sudden bouts of crying and anxiety are perfectly normal during the toddler stage, parents can do a lot to help their children tackle their fears. Whether the anxiety stems from separation, strangers or a specific fear, reassurance is key. Parents should take the time to acknowledge the anxiety and assure the toddler that he will always be kept safe. Introducing new people and places gradually helps with separation anxiety, says Kids Health, and parents should be present during the first few sessions with a new sitter or day care center. When you leave your toddler, stay calm and consistent, give him a loving goodbye, tell him when you will return in terms he understands and always resist the temptation to go back to him, even if he is upset. Always return when you say you will, to give him the confidence to cope without you. When it comes to stranger anxiety or other fears, prepare your toddler in advance of situations that might upset him, such as meeting new people or being in the presence of a dog. Avoid exposing him to books, television shows and activities that could exacerbate his fears, advises BabyCenter. Don't push him into being independent and tough; let him develop and mature at his own pace.