Helping a Toddler Adjust to a New Caregiver

Even if your toddler has stayed with a babysitter or nanny before, the thought of staying with a totally unfamiliar caregiver can be overwhelming and frightening for your little one. At this age, your departure from any scene can cause some upset, according to KidsHealth.org. Providing your child with appropriate transition and acclimation time with the new caregiver can make the difference between a mildly distraught toddler and one who cries inconsolably when you leave.

  1. Build a Mutual Trust

    • Invite the new caregiver over to spend time with you and your toddler doing something enjoyable like making cookies or going to the park, recommends Dr. William Sears in Parenting magazine online. This presents the caregiver as another trusted adult first rather than some stranger who appears only when Mommy leaves. Let the caregiver help lift your child up into her chair or zip up her jacket at the park so your toddler grows comfortable with one-on-one interactions.

    Fade Slowly

    • If your child is quick to warm up to new people, you may only need to be present for one or two play-dates with the caregiver before your toddler is dragging her new "friend" to see all her toys. Even if your little one remains clingy, practice fading yourself into the background, even if it's just for a few seconds, by doing something like going in the other room to check your email while the caregiver and your child continue stirring the cookie batter. If your child protests your momentary absence, simply assure her "I'm just going to check something on the computer, you and [caregiver's name] keep stirring that cookie batter so it's not too lumpy."

    First Experience Fun

    • The first time the new caregiver watches your toddler without you there, arrange for them do something you know you're toddler will love. Talk up how much fun your child is going to have decorating cookies or finger painting with the new caregiver before you actually depart, recommends Jo Frost, child care expert and television's "Supernanny." Favorite movies or television shows can also be effective distractions for the initial post-goodbye tears.

    Start Out Short

    • Don't schedule a new caregiver for a six-hour stint when she and your toddler are still getting acquainted. Instead, recommends KidsHealth.org, start out running short errands around town so that you can confirm for your toddler that you will, indeed return. If possible, hold off on having the new caregiver put your little one to sleep during the first few times. Going to sleep without a parent can feel uncertain for a toddler, especially if they've never spent the night away from you before.

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