How Long Does It Take for Toddlers to Get Used to Daycare?

Starting daycare can be an overwhelming experience for some toddlers, but there are no hard and fast rules about how long it takes for a child to get used to staying somewhere all day without you. Most toddlers experience some degree of separation anxiety for a few days, weeks, or months, but a few get over any trepidation within moments of spotting the toys, caregivers and other children.

  1. Separation Anxiety

    • Separation anxiety usually first hits when a child is between 8 months and 1 year old, and it typically lasts about two to four months. This is a normal developmental milestone that occurs because your child is starting to develop a sense of self and an understanding of the idea that things, including mom and dad, still exist when they aren't directly in front of him. If your child starts daycare before this period hits, he may not experience much anxiety at all when you drop him off. Some kids do fine adapting to daycare as infants but become resistant to being left for the day once they hit this milestone. Another period of separation anxiety often occurs when a child is between 18 and 30 months old, and a few kids blend the two periods together and continue to experience daily drop-off stress for eight months or more.

    Parents and Anxiety

    • For a toddler, separation anxiety can be contagious, and the way you act when you drop your little one off at daycare can make a big difference in how she handles the transition. Be matter-of-fact about the fact that she will be spending the day there instead of fretting over her possible reactions. Create a routine of giving her a hug and kiss before you leave each day, and let her know when you will return so she understands that you will be coming back for her at a particular time. The first time you leave your child with a new caregiver, spend a few minutes chatting to the person who will be watching her so she understands that this is someone you, the parent, likes and trusts.

    Practicing at Home

    • Before you leave your child at daycare, practice the concept of leaving and returning at home to get him used to the idea. Practice saying bye-bye and leaving the room for a few minutes, then greet your toddler with a "hello" and a big smile when you come back. The ability to understand that his parent will always return makes it easier to accept being left behind.

    Considerations

    • Once your toddler has adapted to daycare, there may be days when the separation anxiety returns. If your child is sick, tired, or hungry, she may be more resistant to going to daycare. Major life events, such as a household move or the death of a pet or family member, can also make separation more traumatic and can prolong the length of time it takes for your little one to get used to going to daycare. Keep in mind that even if your child cries every morning when you leave her, the tears probably dry up moments after you've left the room. Sticking around until she stops crying may actually prolong the stress.

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