How to Stop Bullying Behavior in an Autistic Toddler

While most toddlers struggle with controlling aggressive impulses, the challenge is even more difficult for autistic toddlers, who lack social skills. Because an autistic toddler fails to detect more subtle cues such as facial expressions, tone and hand gestures, they don't put the brakes on aggressive behavior as quickly as other toddlers. Autistic children tend to have fewer friends and are scapegoated by other children, according to Guillermo Montes, PhD and Jill S. Halterman, MD, MPH writing a 2007 article in "Academic Pediatrics," and these frustrations can result in temper tantrums and aggression.

Instructions

    • 1

      Teach your autistic toddler one or two warning words they can use to communicate their frustration. Let daycare and preschool teachers know about these words so your child's message will be clear. Autistic toddlers often have delayed language and their non-verbal communication is impaired, according to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. Teach one or two warning words and practice these with your child under both stressful and non-stressful situations so he'll remember them when he's in trouble.

    • 2

      Listen for the warning words and teach your autistic toddler to calm down by taking one or two deep breaths. Remove her from any potentially volatile situations, even if she hasn't used the warning words. Look for signs such as pacing, waving her hands or being unresponsive to adult directives. Allow your child to calm down without physically touching her, if she's sensitive or intolerant of physical contact.

    • 3

      Recognize situations in which your autistic toddler is being bullied by others. Your child's aggression may actually be a response to his being bullied, combined with his lack of appropriate coping mechanisms. Take the advice of Gloria Verret, RN, writing a 2013 article on the Children's Hospital Los Angeles website, and inform school officials immediately of any bullying.

    • 4

      Invite peers to activities with your autistic toddler to help your child make friends. These activities help autistic toddlers feel less lonely and more included, according to Verret.

    • 5

      Keep your calm when you notice your autistic toddler bullying others. Communicate in a clear and calm voice, saying something like "keep your hands and feet to yourself̶1; and ̶0;no insults allowed.̶1; Your calm energy will help de-escalate the situation.

    • 6

      Impose clear, concrete consequences immediately. Help your autistic toddler to learn the connection between what she does and how others react by responding quickly and consistently. Early response and intervention prevents problems from escalating, according to Montes and Halterman.

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