How to Set Effective Boundaries For Your Toddler

If the thought of the word "boundaries" gets you worried about over-structuring or controlling your toddler, you may be thinking of it the wrong way. Children at this age need to know what's OK and what's not. Here's an analogy provided on the website of Parent/Infant Guidance Class instructor Janet Lansbury: If you're driving over a bridge at night and you don't know whether there are railings to hold you in, you're probably going to go slow and may be scared. But if you know there are railings there, you'll feel more confident in driving over the bridge. The railings are the boundaries you set for your toddler. With that in mind, don't be afraid to assert your boundaries so your toddler knows where he can drive and where he can't.

Instructions

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      React to your child's bad behavior with an authoritative, calm statement -- but don't make a big deal out of it. For example, if your toddler tries to hit, say, "I don't want you to do that." Simple, effective and not too elaborate should be your mantra.

    • 2

      Try diversion tactics when you see a problem coming. Toddlers can't really grasp cause and effect, suggests the "Parents" website, so you can keep certain situations more conflict-free -- and avoid the need for boundary-setting -- by diverting your child's attention. Call her name just before she does something you don't want her to do, and then give her something else to grab her attention.

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      Use simple language when giving commands, suggests the Ask Dr. Sears website. The website recommends using words such as "yes touch" and "no touch" to delineate between what's OK for your toddler to play with and what he can't. Remember that you may have to repeat yourself numerous times before your child gets the picture.

    • 4

      Practice consistency. If you set a boundary about something once, don't let up the next time or your toddler may get even more confused. Follow through with any consequences you set forth. For example, if you say there will be no sweets if your child doesn't finish his veggies, don't cave if he doesn't meet his end of the bargain.

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