How to Stop a Tantrum in 5 Seconds

A temper tantrum elicits similar responses of frustration, anger and helplessness from most parents. Tantrums typically begin in the toddler stage of childhood development, but they don̵7;t always end there. Whether the child is 2 or 10, tantrums usually catch parents off-guard, sending them scurrying to a mental file drawer labeled ̶0;How to Make It Stop ̵1; Now.̶1; It̵7;s challenging enough to simply retain your composure in the midst of your child̵7;s loud emotional disarray, so intervening appropriately may seem unrealistic. While no single strategy is guaranteed to stop every tantrum quickly, you can learn how to minimize the duration of your child̵7;s tantrum behavior.

Instructions

    • 1

      Keep calm. Although you may feel sorely tempted, don̵7;t allow your responses to be driven by anger, cautions the Zero to Three website. Mirroring your child̵7;s loss of control validates that her behavioral choice was a good one, and teaches that adults problem-solve with yelling, threats and tirades. Model composure as you face the storm to increase the likelihood that your child will make better choices in the future.

    • 2

      Offer an unexpected distraction to defuse your child's anger. For example, pretend that you don̵7;t hear your child screaming and ask her to join you in the yard to collect pretty leaves or help set the table for dinner. Use the element of surprise to help your child forget about the source of her ruffled feathers, and you may be surprised that the tantrum stops immediately.

    • 3

      Help your child put her feelings into words, and demonstrate empathy for her distress. For toddlers, an inability to communicate contributes to anger and feelings of frustration. Your toddler̵7;s anger may diminish when she sees that you understand the cause of her distress. Show her this with your words. For example: ̶0;You̵7;re upset because we can̵7;t go to the park today. I know that you feel disappointed.̶1; A small dose of empathy is an effective prescription for your child's angry behavior.

    • 4

      Suggest alternatives that your child finds attractive. Giving several choices to an out-of-control child creates a feeling that she does command an element of control over some components of her environment. Many toddler tantrums are rooted in issues related to control and their quest for greater independence.

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