Parallel and Reciprocal Play for Toddlers

When you bring your toddler to a friend's house for a playdate, you might be underwhelmed at first -- the two kids might completely ignore each other most of the time. But they are actually engaging in parallel play, a type of developmental play which toddlers experience. Over time, your social butterfly develops the skills to play with another child, known as reciprocal play. Both are important social developments that give you a chance to see your tot interacting with others.

  1. Parallel Play

    • Your little one will most likely engage in parallel play as a toddler, usually from 12 to 18 months, although it can happen at any age, according to the Encyclopedia of Children's Health. It means that he's happy to play alongside other kids with similar toys, but there's little to no interaction between the toddlers. Parallel play doesn't mean your toddler is ignoring other kids, has poor social skills, or doesn't yet have the socialization and development to play with another child. Instead, he's independent and more than happy to go it alone with a friend nearby.

    Reciprocal Play

    • Older toddlers -- usually 18 months and older -- begin learning to play with other children, rather than just alongside them. Reciprocal play doesn't have any set formal rules or structure, but rather exists when a couple of toddlers play with the same toys in a cooperative or sharing manner. It's the first sign your little one is learning to share, but it may result in squabbles during a playdate. Your child wants to play with other kids, but can be fiercely protective of his toys and doesn't think twice about grabbing a toy from a playmate.

    Play Benefits

    • Conflict between toddlers during a playdate is a sign that they are healthy and developing, notes HealthyChildren.org. Play -- both parallel and reciprocal -- gives a child vital social experiences that teach him how to interact with others. Both types of play teach him about cause and effect -- if he takes a toy from a playmate, that playmate gets upset. Both types of play also help your toddler learn conflict management -- stand back, and you might find that two fighting toddlers soon come up with a solution to their issues. If the fight gets physical, however, it's time to break it up and redirect your toddler to a different activity or type of play.

    Encouraging Social Skills

    • While you can't force your toddler to be more social, you can create opportunities for her to spend time with others. Even if your toddler seems uninterested in reciprocal play -- preferring to play side-by-side -- you can arrange for her and a playmate to sit facing each other while playing with toys. Once your toddler starts to become interested in what playmates are up to, try organizing small playgroups with a variety of activities. The more practice your little one gets in social settings, the more prepped she is for more advanced types of play.

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