How to Earn Your Parents' Trust

Whether you've tiptoed your way out after curfew repeatedly or you've borrowed money for the umpteenth time without paying it back, your parent̵7;s faith in you may be somewhat shattered at the moment. However, whether you̵7;re in your teens or your 20s, or you̵7;ve grown and had kids of your own, you can commit to making changes that will help to re-establish a strong, trustworthy relationship with your parents.

  1. Talking Toward Trust

    • Communication is the cornerstone of a healthy and trusting relationship. Whether you̵7;ve done something to violate the trust in your relationship or not, sharing openly with your parents will open the doors to respect and trustworthiness. Start by arranging a small amount of time each day to talk with your parents. The topic doesn't have to be a serious one; the purpose is to speak openly and honestly with them. Avoid feeding them lines that you think they want to hear; they̵7;ll figure it out eventually and you̵7;ll find yourself light years away from trustworthiness.

    Responsibilities Abound

    • Whether you̵7;ve broken the rules or not, if you̵7;d like your parents to believe that you̵7;re worthy of their trust, you have to follow through on the commitments you make. If you̵7;ve agreed to house-sit while Mom and Dad cruise around the Caribbean, don̵7;t forget to feed the goldfish while they̵7;re gone. If they've forked out thousands of dollars toward your college tuition, hit the books instead of the dance club and bring home grades that show them they can trust that you're taking school seriously. If you̵7;ve become the family freeloader, show that you̵7;re ready to take your finances seriously by sticking to a budget that will bring you back in the black.

    Identifying the Offender

    • If your parents trusted you previously and then an event, or series of events, slowly diminished your trustworthiness, identify the particular circumstances that caused the rift and then commit to making some changes. If you sacrificed studying to socialize and flunked your midterms, let your parents see a revised study schedule that doesn̵7;t include hours of hanging out with friends every night. If you borrowed money for rent but blew the cash on a must-have pair of designer shoes, be transparent with your finances while you repay the money you owe.

    Consistency and Patience

    • Earning back your parent̵7;s trust isn̵7;t an overnight process; it will take time for them to feel comfortable with you again. Once you̵7;ve determined how you can best re-establish trust in your relationship, stay committed and focus on the follow-through. Accept that your parents will likely second-guess your actions and intentions while you mend the broken road, and let them know that you̵7;re prepared to be patient to demonstrate your commitment to a better, more trusting relationship.

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