Low Expectations for Teenagers

One challenge with teenagers involves understanding where to place the bar of expectations. If you set it too high, you risk overwhelming and discouraging the adolescent. Set it too low, and your teen may suffer a hit to her motivation that makes it difficult to perform tasks, grow and succeed.

  1. Dependence and Stagnation

    • Some parents think teens need a relaxed and easy-going adolescence that puts off responsibility until adulthood. Consequences of these low expectations may be feelings of unworthiness in the youngster, warns the Duke Talent Identification Program website. These feelings of unworthiness might lead to low self-esteem, which can affect how teenagers work toward independence. Low expectations might lead a teen might stay dependent on parents for longer than necessary, stagnating without growing toward realistic goals and challenges.

    Demotivation

    • An adolescent may interpret low parental expectations with a lack of parental involvement and interest, according to the Melbourne Child Psychology website. The teen may reason that if parents don̵7;t care enough to set reasonable expectations for behavior and achievements, then there̵7;s little point in making an effort. This demotivation may also stem from the teen̵7;s belief that the parents haven̵7;t instituted realistic expectations because the youngster doesn̵7;t have the abilities necessary to achieve specific goals.

    Negative Adjustment

    • If your expectations are lower than appropriate for your adolescent, she may adjust her behavior and achievements negatively to match your expectations, cautions the University of Illinois Cooperative Extension Service. For example, if you don̵7;t expect more than Cs and mediocre grades from your teen, that might be all she earns. Also, if you project an expectation of misbehavior or risk-taking actions, your teen may perceive your message and engage in the behaviors you expect.

    Reasonable Expectations

    • Readjusting expectations so they are more in line with a teen̵7;s abilities can enable your youngster to reach new and exciting goals. A reasonable expectation encourages an adolescent to work at something and to strive to reach it, while at the same time not overwhelming him, which could lead to discouragement, counsels psychologist Michele Borba. Talk with your teen about goals and expectations and get his feedback. If a goal seems too easy, set the bar higher. If he̵7;s feeling overwhelmed, back up slightly and readjust to help him feel more able to succeed.

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