How to Talk to Adolescents About a Friend's Suicide
Suicide is an experience most people are ill-prepared to deal with. If adolescents have lost a friend to suicide, they are likely to feel confused and frightened. They may not want to talk about what happened right away, so it is crucial that you take things at their pace. It is not an easy subject to broach, and you must be patient, understanding and supportive throughout the grieving process.
Instructions
Ask your adolescent if she wants to talk about her friend's suicide. Let her know you are there to listen to her whenever she is ready. Encourage her to write about her feelings if she remains reluctant to talk about her friend's death. It might take a while for her to open up to you, so be patient and don't push her. Listen to your teenager when he is ready to talk and try not to offer an explanation for what has happened. Make sure he knows you are hearing what he has to say and not judging him. Be prepared to accept a range of emotions, including anger, frustration and denial. Answer any questions he has about his friend's suicide as honestly as possible, emphasizing that no matter how bad things get, death is never the answer. Do not say that his friend was wrong, weak or selfish to commit suicide. Give your adolescent plenty of time and space to grieve in her own way. It may take her a long time to get over her loss, or she may appear to bounce back surprisingly quickly. Accept that she is dealing with it as best she can, and continue to reassure her that you are there to support and love her. Encourage your adolescent to take action to work through his grief. Help him find a creative outlet for it, or a worthwhile project to contribute to. Suicide can make people want to help others in need, so volunteer work could help reduce your teen's feelings of despair and helplessness. Seek professional counseling if you are concerned about your teen's behavior. Approach this subject gently and avoid making her feel as if you are forcing her into it. Ask her to visit the counselor at least once and emphasize that her welfare is your paramount concern. Offer to go with her, but be prepared to let her go alone. Tell your teenager you love him and are there for him to talk about any aspects of suicide or any other issues that may be bothering him. If your teen feels he can talk to you openly without being judged or criticized, he will be more likely to confide in you.