Helping Your Teen Girl With a Changing Friendship

As we get older, our relationships to the people around us often change. This can happen very rapidly during the teenage years as new friends come into our lives and others begin drifting away. Changing friendships can be difficult during a time when teenagers are often looking for stability and support. There are ways that parents can help with this transition.

  1. Identifying Why A Friendship Is Changing

    • Some friends may move away and maintaining the friendship proves too much of a strain, while in other cases, something between your teenager and her friend is amiss. Ask your daughter to think about the last time she was with her friend. Did a conversation go sour or did a fight cause them to grow distant with one another? Is jealousy at play, or are the girls rivals in school? If she did something wrong, encourage your daughter to approach her friend and issue an apology. She might want to say, "I realize I hurt your feelings when I told you that your idea was dumb. I was hurtful and I didn't help the situation. I hope you can forgive me."

    Renewing A Friendship

    • In some cases, your daughter might not know why the friendship is changing. In that case, she should make an attempt to meet up with her friend to talk things over. Your daughter should be calm and nonjudgmental, maybe first saying, "I've noticed we don't spend much time together lately. Did I do something to upset you?" This approach can keep everyone calm as your daughter tries to solve a problem with her friend. If a conflict is not to blame, encourage her to invite her friend over to try out a new hobby together. Rediscovering new interests may help them rekindle their friendship.

    Letting Go Of Friendship

    • In some cases, friendships may end because of a fight, a lack of interest, or because your daughter and her friend no longer have anything in common, says the Boston Children's Hospital Center for Young Women's Health. Remind your daughter that this does not mean that she is a bad person, but avoid saying anything critical about her former friend. Encourage her to get involved in new hobbies and activities, or encourage her to spend more time with her other friends as she grieves the loss of her friendship.

    Additional Help

    • Relationships can be complicated, and your daughter may have difficulty letting go of a friendship. In other cases, the intervention of a trusted adult could help your daughter figure out new ways to bond again with a firend. A behavioral therapist, family counselor, teacher or another trusted adult may be able to help your daughter work through this trying time.

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