How to Deal With Defiant Teenagers

The teenage years are the last stop before adulthood, and they are often very difficult to deal with. Teens can be disrespectful and defiant as they mature, causing stress in the family--especially between themselves and their parents. Dealing with teens who are defiant is not an easy task, but approaching them correctly can make the process more productive.

Instructions

    • 1

      Do not approach the teen aggressively. Talk to your teenager about your concerns regarding their behavior in a non-aggressive, non-confrontational manner at a moment when they are calm and not agitated. Voice your concerns without talking down to your teenager. Let him or her know that you are concerned about his or her behavior and that you want to help.

    • 2

      Lay down specific rules, without apology or raised voices. Instead of saying "I don't want you out late," for instance, tell him that you want him home by 11 or else there will be consequences. Having specific rules can eliminate confusion caused by miscommunication.

      When implementing the rules, however, take your teen into consideration. Without directly compromising, come up with rules that will be fairly easy for him or her to live by.

    • 3

      Set clear-cut consequences--"If rules are broken, action will be taken." Be consistent with the punishment; it should not vary if rules are broken more than once. Let your teen know that if he or she acts in a certain manner, you will always react in a certain manner. For example, if curfew is broken by more than a couple of minutes more than once, your teen will be grounded for one week.

      Clear-cut consequences also help to eliminate miscommunication confusion. Your teen may still be upset at the disciplinary action, but if he already knows the consequences, he can't blame you for it. This leaves his freedoms and luxuries in his own hands

    • 4

      Focus on the positive. Teens can become especially rebellious when they constantly hear negative feedback. Be sure to compliment them and bring attention to the things that they do that are good. Recognizing and rewarding good behavior is an effective way to eliminate bad behavior.

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